The Original and The Mistress

I never really cared about viral posts in Facebook.

However, yesterday, this one video of a supposedly wife and mistress that’s been circulating really got my attention.

Normally, I wouldn’t care and in fact side with the wife but after comment-digging (which I usually do whenever a post in Facebook really gets my focus, like many others do) – despite having my share of hate of mistresses because of my own deal with one in the past (but let’s not dig into that) I also felt deeply bad for the so called “Mistress”…wait, is she even, really?

See, there are important points in the actual story that the great keyboard warriors don’t see here:

  • The “Mistress” and the involved man has been in a relationship since their high school days.

So let’s see here, by the looks of it and some reading in the comments – they’re apparently minors which was really scary because they’re too young to deal with such, but anyway, I’m guessing they’re about 16-17 if so since normally a high school student in our country will be about the age of 11-15. They seem to be mature compared to high-schoolers now though with all that they’re dealing. Initially I though they were about my age. That said, this is what triggered my sympathy for the “Mistress” (let’s call her S). Below is a screenshot of this important detail in this story:

The Original and The Mistress - 1

The Original and The Mistress – 1

To summarize, this comment, supposedly from a friend claims our point. Surely, movie plots wouldn’t be just created if they weren’t real – see, what if the “Original” (let’s call her J) is the one who joined in the party of this couple then as the friend commented, J is using the fact that she has a child with M (this will be the guy, okay?)

What if M and S has been together for let’s say, 2 or more years and have known each other since they were younger? Surely, if they are in the relationship, they will be very forgiving despite the mishaps such as…getting another girl pregnant. Like I said, just like how it is in movies – especially in Filipino movies and series.

Here’s a comment from A as well, sister of S

Wala kayong karapatang pagsabihan ang kapatid ko ng kung ano ano. Hindi niyo alam kung ano ang totoong nangyari. wala din kayong karapatang tawaging kabit ang ate ko at mas lalo wala kayong karapatang tawang “original” ang babaeng yon. Narinig niyo naman ang siya ng ate ko diba? Binalikan siya. Naghiwalay lang naman sila ng boyfriend niya dahil sa babaeng tinatawag niyong “original” eh. Yung malanding babaeng nagpaanak sa boyfriend ng ate ko. Ayaw naman talaga nung guy dun sa “original” eh. Obligado lang dahil sa baby. And to be clear hindi po sila kasal. Dahil yung ate ko ang mahal kaya nga binalikan eh diba? Know the story first before you judge. Tsk. MY SISTER DOESNT DESERVE THIS KIND OF JUDGEMENT AND SHE DOESNT DESERVE ALL THIS!

-A

In this quote, she’s trying to protect her sister – saying that J got pregnant and didn’t really love her? And more screenshot below saying this…coming from other people they seem to personally know and who knows them.

The Original and the Mistress - B

The Original and the Mistress – B

The Original and the Mistress - C

The Original and the Mistress – C

This is what triggered yours truly. See, when you’re in a long-term relationship – it will truly hurt once you are betrayed but you know, there’s a part of you who’d be hoping to build it everything again especially if you’ve been in the relationship since for long. What if, it’s as if you’ve grown up with that person already? Surely, you’ll know too much and have a lot of memories and feelings for that person.

You’ll forgive, you’ll accept, you’ll disregard – what if, it’s about 10 years more that they’ve known each other? But people won’t understand anyway, right? They won’t care if you’re hurt, they won’t care about your feelings but only theirs. Luckily, a few will understandAnd of course, if you get hurt, you’ll try to say something back at least to prove your right for that.

The Original and the Mistress - D

The Original and the Mistress – D

The Original and the Mistress - E

The Original and the Mistress – E

And I could give you more – but these comments tend to get covered up will all the bashing and hate posts. If you think about this, people even a few, wouldn’t dare comment here if S was as evil or bad as the commenters are making her.

For someone who comes in a 10-year relationship this actually freaked me out – knowing that, in reality, it happens and it can happen to me. It got me scared that I got sucked into this topic deeply (thus this blog post). And yes, me and my partner have been together since high school as well (thus this blog, if you want to back read lol, like you would.)

  • J and M aren’t married, but they have a child, yes. M seems to be doing his obligations so far…well, not completely I guess.

From the looks of the screenshot 1 here, it appears he’s doing his part since “he’s obligated” the problem however is it seems it’s just not enough for J or maybe he is completely not devoting to his responsibilities. It also appears from the comments that they didn’t stick together too long which is why M‘s back with S or maybe, he tried.

However, some comments from people protecting S claim that they didn’t stay together (or live in the same household). In this kind of situation, some people do try to stay together, for the sake of children because this is what most people would recommend.

But to be honest, for me, as I’ve experienced, it doesn’t really work out too well (too many trust issues between the man and the woman, child will suffer and have to deal with it (although mine is a very different situation). Also, too many fighting and shouting may occur, too many blaming or…not too much. It does work if two people take their time to put effort, even if not perfectly and as lovey-dovey as we all want it to be.

  • There was a time that S gave way

In one of the comments (screenshots, above) it was claimed that there was a time that S gave way. That said, it means she did give up M and she knew that this was the right thing to do at some point. Guys, don’t you watch enough drama series? There are so many of these people keep telling how they like stories like this but doesn’t support it anyway. The thing here is obviously, it didn’t work, they tried. But love is love, they say. So M is back with S. Maybe, they bumped into each other one fateful day – which happened to be a day and had a fight or something. We will never really know.

  • S was keeping her composure, J just couldn’t, she exploded.

In these kind of situations, the best approach could be to talk it over or just ignore. Make the other woman know that you’re doing okay and all. However, not all people realize the need for self control, some are eager to fight for their right…even physically or verbally

Most probably, J had a recent argument with M which is why she is hating S more or she just really hates her to the bones since she’s the reason her dream family of a dad and a mom with a child, can’t come true.

S on the other hand, tried her best to keep her composure, saying that is lucky that her child was with her (a threat) but J went on ahead and pulled her hair as if there was no tomorrow.

Did she fight back? No. But she did however, talk back. That was what made the video even viral. Her lines seemed to make it seem like she’s proud that she has M back, knowing M and were trying to build the family they made…even for a short time. But people, she’s just also trying to protect herself, wouldn’t she feel that she earned this since she was the original girl to begin with (hello? girl friend since high school here? broke up just because another girl got pregnant? first love guys? first love never dies lol? at least not too soon..)

All in all, people just have their own way to handle things. To me however, having to go physical without the other fighting back isn’t ideal. I mean, surely, they should have talked about this before since S even knows the child’s name.

  • J has M’s child and he needs to support them most especially the child. 

Like many others, we all hate and feel bad for the child. She’ll grow up without a dad, and she will find out she did because her dad chose another girl – thus, a broken a family. We don’t really like that kind of story. She also seems to be longing for a partner who’ll support her since she blames S a lot for destroying their family.

At some point M probably liked J thus they had a child although for me this part of the story is not too clear. It always seems, from the people who they know that J got herself pregnant. But come on, who gets pregnant on her own?!

Well it is possible indeed, that is, if you get the guy very drunk or high that he doesn’t know what he’s doing anymore OR use witchcraft.

Let’s be real though, when you look at the two girls I think not, since they look alike and are both pretty.

Maybe on the night that the child was made, M had a bad fight with S? Ugh, who knows.

Overall, we need to know that and had a relationship, even if it was short – they tried. It simply means there was some hope their family could have worked if only M had focused and tried to forget about the past – but he didn’t and he’s not doing his best, or maybe he did.

  • M is to blame, well, mostly but he’s missing in the picture and not trying to do or prove anything

Here, we have two girls going nuts over a guy who have tricked them both and yet they are fighting for him. Where’s M in the scene though? I guess he’s pretty much scared to say anything. In my own opinion, M should protect both sides to shut people up with their bad comments against both, he’s not the one who is getting hurt.

It seems the child is a daughter too, you know what I mean. Shouldn’t he be concerned of all people – especially if the child is indeed a daughter?

All of these happened anyway because he wasn’t loyal with S nor with J.

I mean, is he even trying to begin with? We don’t even know if he truly is doing his obligations, hence, S is being blamed since it probably looks as if his full attention is being given to her instead of their family.

  • They are all victims of love

Because love is selfish but it is also kind..they say, but it is probably most selfish in this story. They all fell in love at the wrong time, admit it. Truly, their story is like that one being aired in drama series. Seriously, I am overwhelmed that this can happen in real life and I hope to God this won’t happen to me.

about love

never ending

But this right love is meant as right feeling only, since this isn’t really right in the eyes of many.

  • They are all victims of the internet world

We all are. We are triggered by emotions so we say and comment out what we think is right even if we don’t know the whole story, yes, like my blog post, admittedly.

I don’t know much of J‘s side and I can’t relate much with her since I feel for S as I have been in a long-term relationship and I hate knowing of the possibility that, it can get destroyed just because of one grave mistake like what they did.

It doesn’t mean though that I don’t believe her rights. I’ve been in her child’s place but like I said, in a different case and in a much legal case, so I know how it feels. On some days, I have even wanted to ask about how that even happened in the past. I wanted to question everything how two people can love each other so much but still have other people in the story even if they promised to be faithful. This story altogether triggered so much anxiety and worry in me.

What’s scary here is, this is a personal story, but the internet is feasting on it – throwing mean words without knowing what real happened as always. Some assume places and roles, even proudly implement laws they don’t know won’t be applicable.

Do they personally know these people at all to say curse words?

Well, no.

Did they even read comments?

Some probably just wanted to vent out their hateful thoughts with their husbands’ mistresses, now, not all of them probably are aware. But some are truly evil mistresses, and I can tell you how many stories with such examples.

People are judgmental no matter where we are, I guess. Whether we’re online or offline – in the office, in the mall, in the news and so on. If you liked something against what they believe they will gather around and pull you down and make fun of you. They feel good making other people feel bad.

It’s funny how cyber bullying is being condemned but then also promoted at the same time, just because you look bad in the story.

What will you do if this caused that person to give up? Will you be proud learning you’ve taken part of making that person feel her life is miserable that she or he wished to end it? One thing for sure, not me.

People will never learn and will always be excited in drama-series-like life. They won’t listen, they will hate and love at the same time.

  • The one who uploaded the video

Let’s all be real though, the real culprit in this sad love story/family tragedy is the uploader of the video. I mean, what do people get in sharing these kinds of videos? Fame? Self satisfaction? Likes and shares? Pity?

True, it’s an event you wouldn’t wanna be in – it’s very troublesome. But did you really need to take a video of it? What? To show the world a live show?

I guess it somehow gives a lesson to those who are in the same situation? Yet to me, it is really disturbing that personal matters needed to be a viral video. You know, just saying, some things are best kept not in camera but in thoughts?

Overall..what can I say, who should I side with?

The internet, to tell you, used to be my safe haven when Facebook only had applications that didn’t do much. When bloggers blogged about life and not just traveling and beauty products – but now, it’s a completely scary dungeon with many monsters, just one word and you can get eaten or made a zombie…or eaten alive. Thank God nobody reads this blog I guess, I just had to vent due to my anxiety attack:

To me, no one wins in this story, they’re all victims but they’re all the causes of this tragic story.

I feel really bad about this love story gone wrong, but people aren’t seeing it in a different light. As I am a very empathic person, I get sucked into stories I can somehow relate with (and no, I don’t mean I can relate in being a mistress because that’s never going to be in my dictionary and I have my own deal with it, again as I said)

This story hits home because, maybe, I am too young and in love, so I don’t think like others do – no matter what, I would forgive the person I love and accept as long as he does his part that he should especially if I’ve almost technically grown-up with that person. Surely, you’d still hope to love that person for so many years and accept any trials between you. Shit happens anyway, and you can’t do much but go with the flow.

And after all, nobody really knows the ending here – M are MIA protagonist hasn’t even married any of the two girls. Maybe he won’t. Maybe he will, or maybe he’ll go back and realize that his child needs more support than falling in love with your long-term girl friend that you once dreamed to be your wife. Maybe, he’ll learn to love J. Whatever, they should just really prioritize their child’s future. They could even be one big family, of course that’s a hard path to take but some make it, right?

One thing’s for sure, should I be in that place, I could just be gone really, I don’t want to think about it anymore that’s why I wrote this. But yeah, I’ll probably want to be alone instead, it’s a messy story to begin with and it will just make you nuts. Moreover, I should sleep now.

Well, that’s all folks!