Ways to save your relationship and stop the breakups for you and your ex love partner in a making up relationship
Save your relationship and stop breakups
Because of the stresses of modern living and the fact that both partners may be pursuing their different careers many relationships die which could have been saved if you knew how to save your relationship to stop it breaking up. Your first meeting or date is the beginning of your relationship, and breaking up is the end of it, if you allow that to happen. When a relationship is still new, then partners are likely to get on very well, but after some time together certain characteristics of your partner and their habits may result in conflicts and arguments. When this happens, looking for methods to save your relationship to stop breakups is vital.
Relationships that have unresolved conflicts and problems can result in breakups. If you have a relationship that is strong and both partners mutually agree that there are problems that need to be sorted out, then you can save your relationship to stop breakups. It is then also possible to rebuild and renew your bonds into even more powerful ones as well. Finding the right advice and counselling has already helped many couples rebuild their relationships and this is worthwhile especially in relationships that may have taken many years to build.
Togetherness and relationships between people play an important role in your life and it is part of your feeling of well being knowing that there is someone to share your life with in every aspect. Loving and being loved makes people happy, and everyone knows that loneliness is unpleasant and miserable. No doubt you are passionate about your partner and if you see trouble on the horizon which can mean the end of your relationship then you need to take steps to save your relationship to stop breakups. There are a variety of methods of resolving anger, bitterness, disagreements and conflicts by seeking help from different quarters. This may be through counselling, advice from family and friends, your church minister or even through written materials.
Living alone is unpleasant for anyone and this loneliness can even end up in ill health or drastic measures taken by the sufferer to seek companionship. It has been said that there is a soul mate for everyone on this planet so you need never feel alone. When you find someone to have a relationship with, then it is certainly worth nurturing and taking care of. Your relationship fulfils your physical, emotional and companionship needs, and when there is trouble within it, then finding the route to save your relationship to stop breakups begins with you or ideally both partners if this is possible. Open communication to find solutions is possible.
When your relationship is on the point of breaking up, then extra effort is required if you really desire to keep it alive. This may even mean making some personal changes and uncomfortable adjustments. Some of the reasons that result in relationship breakups are the betrayed trust, boredom, adultery, poor communication, addictive behaviour, and emotional abuse, the absence of sex and affection and lack of appreciation. All of them have solutions and if you want to save your relationship from breakup you have to go out and look for them.
Are you desperate to get back with your ex? The Magic of Making Up will give you the help you sorely need to win back an ex. The Magic of Making Up can jump-start your chances of saving your relationship and of getting your ex back.
Indeed, life is short. Don’t let another day go by without taking a chance on happiness. You will never know until you try, so remember to make a move today. It can change or affect the rest of your life, therefore, at the very least, you can try to come out something for your ex love partner during your weekend plans. With a little practice, perseverance and patience, I believe that your relationship could be enhanced with the tips that I have shared earlier. If you have faced any problems with your loved ones, do not hesitate to visit this piece of article again.
I really have a strong belief that if you can understand what I have explained and applied what you have learnt from this piece of article, your problems can be eventually solved and your making up relationship can become more stable and stronger. I wish all the best for your making up relationship with your partner. Do always remember to spread word of mouth to your fellow friends for supporting the decision of having making up than breaking up.
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Yardley, PA (February 2008)—Valentine’s Day is fast approaching and if you listen closely you’ll hear America heave a collective sigh of resignation (from the couples who must run out and buy obligatory gifts) and gloom (from the singles who feel like hiding sulkily under the covers). Yes, many people dread this seemingly benign holiday more than a trip to the dentist. But intuitive psychologist Susan Apollon says not to look at Valentine’s Day as an occasion for enforced “romance” or mourning for your dormant love life. Instead, think of it as a day to celebrate the existence of love itself—pure, authentic, unconditional love—and all the rich rewards it brings.
“Love really isn’t about hearts and flowers and grand romantic gestures,” says Apollon, author of Touched by the Extraordinary: An Intuitive Psychologist Shares Insights, Lessons, and True Stories of Spirit and Love to Transform and Heal the Soul (Matters of the Soul, 2005, ISBN: 0-9754036-4-8, $19.95). “It isn’t about who got who the best gift, or who has a partner and who doesn’t. Love is a way of living. And Valentine’s Day can be more than a reminder that someone loves you; it can serve as an affirmation that you are totally lovable, loving, adored, and special all year long.”
In other words, let Valentine’s Day be a day in which you focus wholeheartedly on your ability to give and receive love. You don’t need to have a spouse or romantic partner in order to do this. You can love your coworkers, your neighbors, your pets, the clerk at the grocery store—anyone and everyone—but especially yourself.
Keep reading to learn how to rev up your love quotient this Valentine’s Day:
Commit to Unconditional Love: To You, From You. It may be a cliché but it is very, very true: until you love yourself you can’t fully love another person. And too many of us beat ourselves up for not being thin enough or pretty enough or smart enough—and worse, we may even use the fact that we are romantically unattached (or in a bad relationship) to validate that low opinion. This is tragic, says Apollon. Whether single or involved, it is vital that you truly understand the value of loving yourself unconditionally. Self-love is the key to achieving all other love and finding happiness in its many forms.
“There must be no conditions for loving yourself,” insists Apollon. “Being lovable and capable of loving is never about having a great body, a high-profile job, or tons of money. There are no strings attached to your adoring your whole self: body, mind, and spirit. There is only the need for you to view yourself as the exquisite miracle you really are. Allow Valentine’s Day to be a reminder of who you are. Love yourself first, because you are your most significant other.”
Get High This Valentine’s Day—High Energy, That is! If you’re wondering what love really is, Apollon says, it’s energy. Everything is energy, in fact, and love is one of the highest energies. So, when you choose to become your own priority and love yourself unconditionally, you will vibrate at an astoundingly higher energy level. The result is that you feel wonderful and life becomes a delicious adventure. Your love for yourself enables you to walk with your head held high and your heart full and healed. You’ll feel grounded, centered, and stable—and these good feelings will affect those around you.
If you’re wondering how to reach that high level of energy, Apollon says the answer is simple: do things that feel good. You might buy yourself a beautiful bouquet of flowers, for instance, or a nice pair of silk pajamas, or a day at the spa. Or place notes all around you that remind you of how loving and special you are…that you are a Beautiful Soul…and that you are loved. It may seem silly, but it works.
Breathe in Love—Not Just on Valentine’s Day, But Every Day. Apollon suggests that each morning and evening you take a few moments to focus on your breathing in and out—long, deep, relaxing breaths—with the intention of helping you shift to a higher energy. Visualize yourself breathing in loving energy from the Universe. See this flowing into every cell and feel the warm, loving impact.
“Picture the Universe, your own Soul, Higher Wisdom, God, or your angels being present for you and feel their embrace—the embrace of love,” she says. “Sit with this and really feel the amazing warm, healing energy of this embrace. It is so powerful!”
Affirm and Visualize Love. Imagine that you are a half-inflated balloon. Most of us live our day-to-day lives in this love-less state of under-inflation. Now envision your soul filling up with love. Affirm your worth several times a day by stating silently or out loud: I am love, I am lovable, and I am loving. Your love for yourself enables you to feel the powerful energy of love even in your cells. As you make your affirmations, visualize these feelings of love permeating every cell of your being. You are love, and you deserve the joy of giving and receiving pure love.
Incorporate Your Own Strengths into Your Affirmations. You are a unique creation worthy of universal energy and love. Everyone is blessed with different attributes and a great way to fill yourself up with self-love is to remind yourself of all your fabulous qualities. Practice affirmations about your own uniqueness that makes you worth loving. A few examples are: I am passionate, I am a great mother, I am ready to be loved, I give fabulous advice, and I am full of creativity.
Face, Embrace, and Replace Grief…and Practice Forgiveness. The energy of love does not mesh comfortably with the energy of anger, pain, guilt, and unresolved conflicts or issues, says Apollon. Therefore, you must release any old grievances in order to vibrate on a higher energetic plane. Valentine’s Day should bring for you a reminder that we are all here for love and that love begins first with forgiveness of yourself and others who have in the past treated you poorly. Face your negative energy and acknowledge it. When you are ready, replace old grief with love and just savor the vast difference this shift makes in your life!
If you need a mantra to help you release the pain that holds you down, Apollon suggests you say to yourself: I love myself enough to let you go now. I choose to detach from carrying you around with me, weighing me down and disabling me from moving on and having a good life. I forgive you and I forgive me. I am truly sorry but I must let you go. I surrender you to the Universe. I choose to be free of any attachments that keep me from experiencing the peace and joy to which I am entitled.
Release Your Attachment to Your Vision of Prince or Princess Charming. If you spend Valentine’s Day hoping for an engagement ring, seething with resentment that your partner forgot that you prefer dark chocolate over milk chocolate, or daydreaming about that knight in shining armor who will sweep you away from your dreary life, you’re missing the whole point of love. Your attachments to an ideal only set you up for a fall when perfection fails to materialize. Remember, says Apollon, that real love (for yourself or others) doesn’t come with conditions. When you love unconditionally, you don’t need anything in return.
“We feel happy, we are lighter and unburdened when we release our expectations,” asserts Apollon. “Don’t spend Valentine’s Day hoping for roses, romance, or a note from a secret admirer. And married folks and those with partners need to realize that the person you love is not responsible for meeting your checklist of expectations for happiness. Instead put your focus on sending loving energy to everyone you know this day and every day. It will clear the metaphorical haze around you, so to speak and for the first time you will see and feel all the love you need.”
“Too many people use the fairy tale illusion of living happily-ever-after to define their inner worth,” says Apollon. “Know that true happiness can’t come to you in its many forms until you are able to accept it. Love is all around you and will manifest when you finally learn to let it permeate your spirit, by loving yourself and exuding love to everyone you know. Remember that love is what connects and sustains us all and gives life meaning. Living lovingly feels so good, and when you make the choice to do this, each day can feel like the best Valentine’s Day ever.”
For more information, please visit www.touchedbytheextraordinary.com.
About the Author:
Susan Apollon is an intuitive psychologist, psychotherapist, and healer. For more than two decades, she has specialized in treating children and adults who are traumatized, ill (dealing with cancer and other life-threatening illnesses), grieving, and/or dying. As a master of several healing and energy modalities, a researcher of mind, consciousness, energy, and metaphysics, a student and teacher of intuition, and a survivor of her own challenge with breast cancer, she brings wisdom and compassion to those with whom she works.
An award-winning author, Susan wrote and recorded the book and 11-audio CD package Touched by the Extraordinary: An Intuitive Psychologist Shares Insights, Lessons, and True Stories of Spirit and Love to Transform and Heal the Soul. She is also a contributing author, along with Mark Victor Hansen and Les Brown, to 101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life. Her articles have appeared in newspapers and magazines across the country as well as celebrated Internet journals and websites. She has been a frequent guest on national radio and television shows.
Susan believes in the wisdom and capability of each human being to achieve self-mastery. She speaks passionately to organizations and groups about everyone?s ability to live full, satisfying lives, be happy, create their own miracles, and heal themselves. Her workshops and seminars provide a blend of her contagious enthusiasm with her tried and true methods and interventions for healing and creating a joyful and healthy life.
Susan?s love of medicine and healing has its roots in her lineage; she comes from a family of physicians. She has been married for more than forty years to her husband, Warren Apollon, an orthodontist, and is the proud mom of two adult children, Rebecca, an emergency room physician, and David, a management consultant.
About the Book:
Touched by the Extraordinary: An Intuitive Psychologist Shares Insights, Lessons, and True Stories of Spirit and Love to Transform and Heal the Soul (Matters of the Soul, 2005, ISBN: 0-9754036-4-8, $19.95) is available at bookstores nationwide and from major online booksellers.
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Marriage
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How do you get your love back when all seems lost?
I received the following question:
“My relationship was going well and then it plummeted. It was a long distance relationship but it was going so well and strong for 7 months and then crashed. I would give anything to get her back and I really need some advice.”
This is just one example of countless questions I receive asking advice for basically the same problem. So how do you fix a relationship that has gone bad?
Go for the 6-point checklist
1. Go visit
If you really would do anything, I suggest you start by going to see your partner and try and work things out. Long distance relationships are hard, but don’t let anybody ever tell you they can’t work out. My girlfriend/wife and I were in a long distance relationship for more than three years, and we’re in one again. It sucks big time, but it’s definitely still worth it.
If there really are problems in your relationship, it’s best to discuss it in person. Phone calls, Skype, webcams, etc. are all great resources that you can use to communicate, but real problems need real people to sort them out. Not people on computer screens or voices on the other side of telephones. This is not to say you can’t work it out over the distance, so don’t just give up yet. It’s just easier in person.
2. Do some digging
Find out exactly what led to the (possible) breakup. Dig deep. If it’s something one of you said, dig deeper still and find out what led to that being said. I would assume that you are not an inherently bad person, so if you said something bad, there must have been a reason for you to say it.
Don’t stop digging once you’ve reached what looks like an answer. Maybe there’s an even deeper level, something that happened a long time ago. And quite possibly, that something was a complete misunderstanding. It’s happened to us a lot, and I don’t think we’re unique in that way.
3. Be brutally honest
You have to be brutally honest, both with yourself, and with your partner. Your digging will lead to some things you wouldn’t want to know, both about yourself and your partner. You should be prepared for it. This is not the time for mud slinging. This is the time to be a couple. Couples stand together through everything and help each other. You need to admit to the things you find.
4. Admit your mistakes
Admit those mistakes that you’ve uncovered. Admitting mistakes isn’t saying: “I was brought up this way, I can’t change…” Admitting your mistakes means finding out what you’ve been doing wrong so far and actively doing something about it. This is where your partnership will be instrumental. You have work together with each other to come out better as a team on the other side. But don’t stop at your partner. You should also use the help of friends and family. They may be even more brutally honest with you than your partner.
5. What are your plans?
Does your partner know that you have long term plans for your relationship? You do have long term plans don’t you? Like maybe getting married eventually? If you’re serious about making this relationship work, I would assume it’s because you feel that there is a possibility of a long term relationship. Maybe if your partner knows that’s the way you really feel you will get renewed energy and a renewed sense of direction in your relationship.
Seriously, I’ll never tell you when to break a relationship. Only you can ever tell yourself that. But if you don’t see a long term goal for your relationship, a long distance relationship is not your best option. Long distance relationships are harder work than normal relationships, so you have to have something to work for. In our case, as with many others, it was and is definitely worth it, no matter the distance, and no matter how long we are apart.
6. Make some sacrifices
You will have to make some sacrifices in your relationship, but weigh it up against the rewards, and eventually it’s no sacrifice at all. As an example, I spent a lot of money during the course of our long distance relationship in order to visit Mari often enough. But I never saw our relationship in terms of a monetary value. What I got in return is something that no amount of money can ever buy.
Maybe your sacrifice is something else. Maybe you just need to spend less time doing something else you want to do, and spend more time on the phone with your partner. Or maybe you should take the plunge and look for a job closer to your partner. Even if it may mean that you will have to work for a lower salary.
Never just give up on your relationship without a fight (for the relationship that is, not a fight in the relationship). Every relationship goes through a bit of a rough patch from time to time. Long distance relationships are no different.
Best of luck
Leon
Leon Louw is the author of Long Distance Relationship Secrets. It is an invaluable guide to couples that are in a long distance relationship. It provides them with tips, advice and guidance on how to overcome the troubles faced by a couple in a long distance relationship.
He has over three years experience of a long distance relationship himself, and he lives the life, not seeing his wife for 10 straight weeks at a time.
The information in these articles is a much scaled down version of what you will find in Long Distance Relationship Secrets (http://www.longdistancerelationshipsecrets.com) and the accompanying bonuses. I am not a psychologist, nor do I have any formal training in relationship counseling. However, Long Distance Relationship Secrets, the bonuses, and the articles (http://www.longdistancerelationshipsecrets.com/artivles.html) were all written from personal experience and after much research and discussion with experts in the field. As with all my writings, he/she, him/her, etc. are all to be seen as interchangeable, except where otherwise stated, or inferred from the text itself.
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