Jul 24 '10 When to Say I Love You: How to Know if it is Time to Say the Three Big Words

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When to say I love you? Falling in love can be likened to a lot of different things, probably because falling for someone is a different experience for every person. Some people compare falling in love to getting hit between the eyeballs by a very large baseball bat. For others, love sneaks up on them like a small, furry pooch with very sharp teeth that slinks up behind them to bite them on the butt. Yet others compare it to various forces of nature that tend to start out slow but build momentum unstoppable until it pretty much crashes down on them like a tsunami. But still the big question is how and when to say I love you.

Regardless of HOW you tend to fall in love, one of the most difficult things about it is undoubtedly trying to figure out WHEN to tell the girl you’ve fallen in love with the three simple words “I Love You”. It’s difficult to decide when to say I love you. This simple and seemingly harmless phrase carries with it a wealth of emotions, ranging from ecstatic hopefulness to abject terror. Here are a few tips to help you determine when you to say I love you to someone and NOT get your emotional tail kicked as a result.

First things first: examine your feelings. Before saying anything, and to know when to say I love you, be sure you’re in love with your prospective partner. Admittedly love can be construed a lot of ways, but generally we ALL want to find someone that we can spend the rest of our lives with. So first things first, are you just after a quick romp in the sack, or are you after something a bit more meaningful? If sex is all you’re after, don’t even bother talking about love. You can say the words, but when you say I love you without sincerity, they won’t be honest and most girls are sharp enough to know bovine manure when they spot it. On the other hand, if you think that you can stand to wake up to your potential partner’s face every morning, can put up with her little foibles and irritating habits without going berserk, and if you think that you’ll wind up having this aching empty spot in your heart if you lose her for good, THEN you can tell her you love her with more sincerity. This is when you say I love you and you know it feels right and you mean it from the bottom of your heart.

Now, aside from YOUR feelings, also examine her feelings. When you say I love you it’s not just your feelings that you have to consider. Granted this is much, much, much more difficult to do than to say. Girls are past masters at masking their emotions behind deadpan expressions and knowing looks. I’m sure you know the “looks” I’m talking about… but thankfully, there are at least a few simple indicators that you can rely on as clues to whether your feelings are one sided or mutual and hints when to say I love you. Laughter and smiles are one of the simplest clues. Make a girl laugh and she MIGHT like you. Another indicator is conversation. IF all your talks are one sided, you can usually forget about it. Big hint here: girls LOVE to talk. If your girl is clamming up, it means something is wrong somewhere. Smiles and conversation aside, a third indicator is time spent together. No girl would spend large amounts of time with you unless she enjoys your company. This MIGHT also mean that she regards you as a friend and not a potential hubby, but let’s face it; the BEST marriages start out as friendships.

Now, the final tip is probably going to be either the easiest thing in the world for you to do, or the toughest, depending on how you think. The question of WHEN to say I love you to her is a mind boggling experience for people who like to plan things out in advance. You see, love isn’t logical, and trying to apply logic to it with things like planning a date with a perfect setting, romantic candles, etc., etc., etc., will often lead to a case of emotional hemorrhoids. Take my advice on this: if you love a girl, don’t bother trying to think of WHEN you should tell her or when to say I love you. Keep it business as usual, go out, keep her company, and have fun. Then, in the middle of all that, you will know when to say I love you, there will come a point, when she will say or do one of those things that endear her to you so much, and you’ll feel all warm and fuzzy but comfortable around her. Then at that point, just TELL her. The sheer spontaneity of it, combined with your heart most likely being in your eyes when you say I love you, will make a bigger impact on her than a planned scenario.

Knowing when to say I love you is one thing but getting the girl of your dreams is another thing. Do you want to maximize your chances to get the girl you want?  Discover the powerful, step-by-step secrets of how to meet, attract, and create a lasting and fulfilling relationship with the kind of person you’ve always wanted. Even if you’re shy or don’t think you are good looking.

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To find out more about Love, Dating and Wedding visit All About Relationships.

Jun 30 '10 What are the Three Biggest Mistakes That the Newly Singles Have Made and How are They Going to Avoid Them for the Making Up Relationship?

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What are the three biggest mistakes that the newly singles have made and how are they going to avoid them for the making up relationship?

 

 

 

 

Suddenly, it’s clear to you now. The relationship is over! What are you going to do now? Caution: Don’t complicate your life by beginning to date too soon after a break-up. How soon is “too soon?” That will depend upon the circumstances of the breakup. Rule of thumb: Six months or more. “Or more?” you say. Yes! Six months or more! When you cut your finger, it takes time for the wound to heal. If the sharp edge cuts to the bone, it may take longer. A thorough healing of a broken heart takes time too.

 

The biggest mistakes that newly singles can make are things that most singles refuse to believe and, as a result, they soon find themselves experiencing the same relationships as in the past. It is an even bigger mistake to not acknowledge that these colossal blunders really are mistakes. Some of you may have made these mistakes more than once.

 

I know from personal experience that if you will evade these avoidable errors in judgment, ALL of your relationships will work better. The biggest mistake that newly singles make is getting involved with someone else before the hurts of the past have healed. Two closely related mistakes include not taking full responsibility for their share of the problems that caused the breakup in the first place and making sure that those issues are complete before beginning again.

 

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and over and over and expecting a different result. Knowing your heart needs healing and refusing to do anything about it doesn’t help prepare you for the next relationship. It only prolongs the agony. How can you avoid these mistakes? By living solo for awhile.

 

Before you can successfully get involved with and have a “healthy” love relationship with someone else, you must first get involved with yourself! When it comes to analyzing yourself, don’t be an ostrich. Get your head out of the sand and take a loooooong look at what you did that may have contributed to the break-up and promise yourself that you will make some changes “prior” to your next relationship.

 

The time of real personal growth is when you are alone. Singles should use this time to reflect on the behaviours they did and didn’t like in their former partner. Create a “romantic résumé” that lists their positive points and what you are looking for in your next mate. It’s time to experience how it feels to stand on your own; taking care of you, paying special attention to who you need to become to attract a passionately monogamous, infidelity-free, fun in the bedroom relationship. You must learn to stand alone again before you can again stand together… side by side.

 

 

This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t date, it only means, and that when you decide to date, you must resist the urge to become intimately involved with anyone else too soon. This is easier when you date lots of people. Don’t grab the first one that comes along. Play the field. Make “having FUN” your only priority.

 

It requires a lot of effort to be in a healthy love relationship with someone else. You don’t need to expend the additional energy it will take to do that AND work on fully recovering from your last relationship at the same time. That’s just not smart. When you strain a muscle, good doctors will insist that you give it a rest if you want it to heal. That’s smart. Give a monogamous, committed relationship with someone else a rest for now.

 

Broken relationships take time to heal. The relationship I am talking about is the broken relationship you have with yourself. Not only must you know this, you must acknowledge that there is a problem that needs repair before the healing can begin. We seem to drift around, not knowing what to do, blaming our ex, our mother- in-law, the cat, everyone but the real culprit.
 

 

If you want to know what the problem is in your relationships, it’s very simple. Look into the mirror. There it is! You must muster the courage to look the problem straight in the eye and declare your independence from it. It’s time to take responsibility for who you are, what you do, how you think, who you date . . . everything.

 

The most important relationship to you right now is the one you have with you! Rebuilding a relationship with yourself must be your highest priority. This significant first step must occur before you can be who you need to be in another healthy love relationship with someone else. For the time being, spend lots of time working on preparing for love – the love that you will share with someone else in the future.

 

The problem with moving too quickly to the next relationship is that there needs to be a cooling off period; that time when you begin to look at the real problem and start making some new choices about shedding all of the baggage of the last relationship. Reinvent a healthy relationship with you! Rediscover who you are! Take some time for yourself. Feel the pain. Acknowledge it. Feel it and know that it is only and always your choice to feel that way. Then do something different! In time, as you begin to acknowledge the mistakes you have made in the past and MOST important, accept responsibility for your share of the problem that caused the breakup, the hurts of the past will begin to heal.

 

If you also make a conscious decision to resolve not to allow those same problems to happen again, you will begin to feel better about yourself and the pain will ease. In time, you will look back and wonder how you could have let something like that happen to you. You will also wonder how you could have allowed yourself to feel the way you feel right now. You will look back in disappointment. You will be proud that you no longer will allow yourself to grovel in self pity and pain like you did in the past.

 

Part of the healing is acknowledging that there were indeed problems that you were responsible for. Knowing that is not enough. DOING something different is! For now, working on you is the first key to unlocking a future chock full of infinite possibilities. Whatever you want, wants you too. It is now time to STOP blaming someone else for the misery you are creating for yourself. It’s time to forgive them so the hurt will heal. Nothing is unforgivable. That is only and always your choice too.

 

The hurts won’t heal until you will allow yourself to forgive. I suppose the real question is: Just how long do you want to feel the way you feel right now? If you think that he or she was solely responsible because of what they did or didn’t do, then you are missing the point. It’s time to let go of that and focus on taking full responsibility for the choices that are available to you right now. Blaming others will only and always keep you stuck right where you are.
 

 

It will take a new discipline to do this. Can you do it? You must understand that the pain you feel right now is only temporary. Medical science has yet to prove that anyone has ever died from a broken heart. Broken hearts can mend. It takes time and you must do the work. You can do it! And you will do it when the desire to feel better about yourself again becomes stronger than the benefits of holding on to a past that obviously didn’t work. It takes no strength to let go, only courage. Let the healing begin.

 

Indeed, life is short. Don’t let another day go by without taking a chance on happiness. You will never know until you try, so remember to make a move today. It can change or affect the rest of your life, therefore, at the very least, you can try to come out something for your ex
love partner
during your weekend plans. With a little practice, perseverance and patience, I believe that your relationship could be enhanced with the tips that I have shared earlier. If you have faced any problems with your loved ones, do not hesitate to visit this piece of article again.

 

 

I really have a strong belief that if you can understand what I have explained and applied what you have learnt from this piece of article, your problems can be eventually solved and your making up relationship can become more stable and stronger. I wish all the best for your making up relationship with your partner. Do always remember to spread word of mouth to your fellow friends for supporting the decision of having making up than breaking up.

 

 

 

Can I get my ex back? Maybe your situation is not covered in this article?

 

 

Watch a video that shows you exactly what you must NEVER do, what you should do to get your ex back and why at http://hubpages.com/hub/howshouldiwoomyexback

 

 

You will also learn how to reverse the situation if you have already done those things that should NEVER be done.