It is very common for a couple to go through ups and downs in their relationship. The most common reason for break downs is raising kids. After that it is usually a demanding career or simply one person in the relationship is going through changes. Mending a relationship back from the “downs” requires effort from both parties and this can only come of both parties want the relationship back in strong working order.
The connection in a relationship often falls by the way side and it simply needs a little help to be seen and felt again. Mending a relationship back from the trenches is a common road traveled. Start the journey today using these seven effective success tips.
1. Both parties must be dedicated to fixing the relationship and finding the connection again. Staying for the kids or out of convenience is not enough. You must be committed to making changes.
2. Find the core the problems, not just the problems themselves. Each of you needs to have a clear perspective on the problems in the relationship. There are reasons the symptoms of a troubled couple are there. Use the symptoms to diagnose the real problem. This is valuable in a relationship whether it is in trouble or not. Example: An affair is not the REAL problem. There is a reason the person had the affair. It is this reason that is the core of the problem. Mending a relationship requires you both deal with the core issues at hand.
3. Communicate your feeling, needs, and disappointments. Both of you must voice your feelings and both of you must listen to the other. Hold hands, look into each other’s eyes and be honest, and understanding. If your partner says something that hurts you remember that this is the only way to sort out the issues in the relationship.
4. Put a plan of action into place. Together come up with an action plan that will dissolve the issues and you can both start mending the relationship back to when it glowed and you were happy.
5. Make solid footprints in the plan. Take action right away in the areas that you need to improve in. Help each other out along the way. Help remind each other and support each other in the areas that might be more difficult.
6. Don’t expect perfection too soon. Give things time and give your partner time to adjust to things they may find difficult or have issues with. Be patient, understanding and supportive. Have a little laugh about the things you also find difficult so your partner doesn’t feel alone in the process.
7. Spend time together. Life is busy there is no doubt. Don’t take each other or the relationship for granted. Instead, make an effort to find time together and use it wisely. This area should be on your action plan. You can plan a weekly outing. Meet up for lunch during the week. If you have kids you can do chores together in the evening when the kids are in bed and chat while getting them done. You will finish faster allowing each of you more free time, either together or independently.
In order for a couple to get a relationship back on track they have to work together, communicate and put into gear an action plan. It is Vital for you both to be understanding, supportive, fair, and above all else committed to the process of mending the relationship.
In order for a couple to get a relationship back on track they have to work together, communicate and put into gear an action plan. It is Vital for you both to be understanding, supportive, fair, and above all else committed to the process of mending the broken relationship.
Triniti is a relationship adviser who helps couples fix the broken in their relationship and move on to become first-rate partners for each other.
Triniti extends an invitation for you to receive Breaking Up Advice on the house to help with moving forward, putting a smile on your face, and a beat back in your heart.
Learn how to reunite with your ex or mend any relationship with a solid, clear plan that breaks through barriers and shows how to be a first-rate partner and keep a relationship solid and thriving. Best of all – it’s a down to earth approach suitable for all couple types and personalities. Guaranteed and cost effective for today’s money conscience couples.
The absolute best definition of love I have ever found is this, “Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails” (1 Corinthians 13:4-8).
If you are thinking that’s a pretty tall order, you would be right! But when God issues an order to love, He provides us with the means to do it; that means it is through his Son, Jesus Christ. When I accepted Jesus as my Savior, I learned He would help me love Him and others by expressing His love through me. I certainly can’t do it on my own! No one can!
You are God’s workmanship!
Once you make yourself available to love God and His ways, you have to learn to love yourself. Not with a self-centered or conceited type of love, but with a genuine love for who God created you to be. He made you and loves you; now you have an obligation to appreciate His handiwork!
Loving God and yourself provides a firm foundation that prepares you to love others and to achieve greatness. Love includes self discipline, taking personal responsibility for your life, and realizing you have a part to play in your success. Operating from the basis of love insulates you from selfish greed, immoral decisions, and the poison of unforgiveness.
One of the saddest things to observe is a person’s rise to success and power followed by a tremendous fall. Often this is because the person’s talent took him or her higher than the depth of their character could support. When a person has a shallow character, they do not have the firm foundation they need to stay at the top.
How should I show love to others?
I’ve established several habits that I use to show love for others in my personal and business life. By these principles I show respect, focus on people’s strengths, and treat them like I would like to be treated.
Noticing: Rather than rushing by, slow down and acknowledge the person near you, even if it’s with a nod and a smile.
Listening: Make a point to truly listen, not just talk. People will tell you amazing things if you take the time to listen.
Asking questions: Ask questions that show you are listening and attentive; that what they are expressing is valuable to you.
Discovering their interests: Become acquainted with what interests a person. I’ve actually ended up hiring people after I took the time to learn their interests.
The benefits of love
#1 – For our benefit: God is more interested in our personal growth and character development than He is in our ease and comfort. That’s why we are called to love even those who have hurt or betrayed us. Not with a sloppy indulgent love, but with a love that believes for redemption and restoration to a healthier state of being.
God even promises to reward us for showing love through our actions: “But love your enemies, do good, and lend, hoping for nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be the sons of the Most High”( Luke 6:35).
#2 – For others’ benefit: When we show love for someone when they don’t deserve our love or forgiveness, we plant a powerful seed. I’ve had numerous people become curious about my faith when they either experienced or observed my love in action. I was able to share about my Savior and the great sacrifice He paid for my own salvation and for theirs.
It is God’s will that you love yourself and others by allowing His love to pour through you. In the end, love is simply part of your service to others. Love is not always returned, therefore be satisfied that you have been obedient and leave any rewards for that obedience to God.
As you climb your ladder of success in your personal and business life, take with you the one sure thing that is necessary to stay there…the one force that is more powerful than any other in the world; the source of unlimited possibility and unstoppable freedom. That force is LOVE!
Paul J. Meyer, best-selling New York Times author and founder of the Success Motivation Institute has written two dozen full-length programs plus numerous books on attitude, motivation, goal setting, management, leadership, and time management. In his highly acclaimed book, 24 Keys That Bring Complete Success, available at www.pauljmeyer.com, Paul shares the 24 keys that have made him the success he is today.
Define the Problem First.
It seems obvious, but how many times have we gone to a problem-solving meeting and the discussion started with either whose fault was it or an assertion about the proper solution?
Explain what the problem is—what went wrong, what are the symptoms, what is the impact on your business and your customer’s business. These are the things that someone knows at this point in the problem solving process. If the someone is not you, and you’re leading the problem-solving effort, you need to do some research to find out. No guesses or assumptions allowed: the problem description must give the facts clearly and accurately.
Write it down. Writing the problem down forces you to describe it carefully, completely and unambiguously. The statement is a valuable tool to help focus your team on the real problem and avoid wasting time on extraneous issues. Everyone who reads it should understand what the problem is and why it’s important. No jumping ahead, either: you don’t know yet what caused the problem much less what you will do to fix it.
The written statement can also be used as a “sales tool” to explain what problem you’re solving and why it’s important. Use it to make sure you have the support you’ll need from management, your customer and any other key players. This is especially important if the significance of the problem is not universally understood or accepted.
The problem is defined when everybody who reads your problem statement, including you, understands what will be different when the problem is solved and your team agrees that it describes the correct problem.
copyright 2005. Jeanne Sawyer. All Rights Reserved.
Jeanne Sawyer is an author, consultant, trainer and coach who helps her clients solve expensive, chronic problems, such as those that cause operational disruptions and cause customers to take their business elsewhere. These tips are excerpted from her book, When Stuff Happens: A Practical Guide to Solving
Problems Permanently. Find out about it, and get more free information on problem solving at her web site: http://www.sawyerpartnership.com/.
The ability to solve complicated problems quickly is more
important than ever in today’s tough economy.
From the time we’re little kids, we’re taught to solve problems
by trial and error. That’s fine if the problem is as simple as a
burned out light bulb. When the problem is a muddle of business,
technical and political problems, we need something that helps
us untangle the mess. Unless you’re Harry Potter, treating a
mess like a burned out light bulb is as effective as wishing for
magic.
Fortunately, there are alternatives to magic. Many key concepts
in problem solving seem obvious but are often overlooked,
causing delays and frustration in getting important problems
solved. Here are some tips and reminders that will help you
solve messy problems quickly and easily.
** Define the problem first. Explain what the problem
is—what went wrong, what are the symptoms, what is the impact on
your business. Write it down. Everyone who reads it should
understand what the problem is and why it’s important. Caution:
describe the problem, not what you will do to fix it.
** Use your time for problems that are truly important.
Just because a problem is there doesn’t mean you have to solve
it. If you ask, “what will happen if I don’t solve this
problem?” and the answer is, “not much,” then turn your
attention to something more important.
** Test your assumptions about everything. Check the
facts first. Be sure that you and your team understand the
problem the same way, and that you have data to confirm that the
problem is important. Test the assumptions about proposed
solutions to improve the chances your solution will actually
solve the problem.
** Measure. The key question to answer is, “How will you
know when the problem is solved?” If you don’t measure, you
won’t know for sure. Use measurements to learn and portray the
truth—the real truth, not what you wish were true.
** Measure the right things. A common measurement trap is
to measure something because it’s “interesting.” If knowing a
measurement won’t change anything (e.g., help you make a
decision, verify an assumption or prove the problem is solved),
then don’t waste your time measuring it.
copyright 2005. Jeanne Sawyer. All Rights Reserved
Jeanne Sawyer helps her clients solve expensive, chronic problems, such as those that cause operational disruptions and cause customers to take their business elsewhere. Find out about her book, When Stuff Happens: A Practical Guide to Solving Problems Permanently, and get more free information on problem solving at her web site: http://www.sawyerpartnership.com/.
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