When you got married, you need to be prepared to face various problems that come into every marriage. It is normal to have marriage problems. They are a part of a marriage and they can in fact strengthen the bond between you and your spouse. However, some couples keep neglecting those problems in vain hope that they will disappear by themselves. It can happen, but in most cases, they will escalate and can jeopardize your marriage.
Some studies have found that accumulated angers and resentments can eventually explode and create serious damages in marriage lives. It is important to solve problems immediately so you do not give any chances to the problems to grow into something that will create serious damages. It is a good strategy to solve marriage problems as early as possible if you want to prevent disasters.
Pay attention to common signs and address them
You need to be sensitive if you want to solve marriage problems as early as possible. Understand these common signs and never ignore them when you notice the signs in your marriage life. One sign that you need to pay attention at is any changes in your spouse behaviors. Try to find the causes of these changes. Many times, irritability and restlessness are potent signs of underlying marriage problems. Therefore, it is necessary to spend some time to resolve the situation so it does not escalate into something dangerous.
Communication is the key to uncover these underlying problems. It is good if you can take some time off and spend a good quality time with your spouse. Plan a romantic date with him or her that will ease the tension between the two of you. Do not immediately raise the issue and confront your spouse directly about the reason on why he or she acts strangely recently. Just have a good and fun time with your spouse. Normally it is much easier to initiate open communication when both couples are relaxed.
However, if you notice that your spouse is not comfortable to start talking about the problems, then it is best not to push to hard. Just wait until your spouse is ready. If you keep pushing, he or she will get defensive and it will strain the relationship further. In this case, going for a short vacation can become a good solution. Sometimes the situation at home or workplace is too stressful for your spouse and a good vacation can get him or her away from those unpleasant situations. It is a good chance for you and your spouse to have privacy so the two of you can have a long discussion.
The most important thing is that you should never let marriage problems persist for a long period of time. If you do not do anything, your marriage will suffer and it can lead to a divorce. Therefore, you must never too busy when it comes to your marriage. You have said the marriage vow and you need to do everything in your power to make it work.
Have you ever encountered a problem only to become stumped trying to come up with a solution? How often have you found yourself saying that there is just no possible answer and you think that you have reached a dead end?
From time to time the problems that we are faced with may be so huge that one may feel like they are hammering against a brick wall. The stress involved with having to solve such a problem can be more than just a little overwhelming.
But have faith and rejoice, for there may be hope yet!
With a more optimistic mindset, a person will find that they are more creative when solving their problems. This article identifies seven creative problem-solving techniques.
1. Take note of assumptions and constraints with the problem. Oftentimes, these assumptions can obstruct our view of possible solutions. Note which assumptions are not valid and which need to be addressed.
2. You need to take a hard look at what the problem really is. Know the problem and have a concrete understanding of what it is about. By knowing what the problem is and how it works, you may find that you will have built a better foundation towards solving the problem.
Identify all the participating entities and then decide what their relationship is to one another. Take note of all the things you stand to gain or loss due to the current problem. Once you have considered the following you should have a clear and simple statement of what the problem is.
3. Try solving the problem in parts. For example, going from the more general views to the more detailed parts of the problem may solve it. This method is called the top down approach. First, write down a question and then come up with a general one-sentence solution, now you will be able to develop the solution even further.
4. It is important to keep a creative and analytical voice of reason at the back of your head. If someone else suggests a solution, be creative, think of how to make the solution work. Also think realistically and look for any possible weak links in the suggested solution.
5. Remain open-minded to the fact that there may be more than one solution to the problem. Keep track of them and go with the one that best fits your situation.
6. You know the old saying, “two heads are better than one.” It is so very true, so remember to be open to new ideas. There may be answers for problems that you thought were unsolvable. You will benefit from listening to others, especially when the information is coming from someone who has had experience with a similar problem to yours.
7. Be patient. There is always the chance that the solution will present itself. Remember, no one is able to come up with the right invention the first time around.
So the next time that a problem arises and you think that you are unable to solve it, think again. The solution could be staring you in the face. It just takes some planning, time and a little creative thinking.
Kevin Sinclair is the publisher and editor of besuccessfulnews.com, a site that provides information and articles on how to succeed in your own home or small business.
This is one of my all time favourite problem solving techniques, and I use it on a regular basis with clients who find it hard to get along other people. If you’re going around in circles with a relationship problem, it can really help to step back and break the problem down into groups. Here’s how to do it:
First, think of a small problem you are having in your life right now. Don’t try to tackle anything too big just yet, just get used to using this technique and then when you get more skilled at it you can try it with some larger problems. The idea is to separate your problem into three groups.
GROUP ONE: Parts of the Problem That Come From Other People
Write down all the parts of this particular problem that are brought to it by other people. Now, I know it’s tempting to lump all of the parts into this group, because it’s so easy to blame others for what is not working in our lives; but try to resist this temptation! And let’s face it – other people are not responsible for EVERY part of your problem. So be honest with yourself.
GROUP TWO: The Facts about Your problem
In this group, you are going to write down the facts. For example, let’s say your partner won’t spend enough time with you and the family. In this group, one of the facts you could write would be “We need ___ to spend more time at home”.
GROUP THREE: YOU
Now you are going to list all the parts of the problem that YOU bring to it. Many of the things you write down here will be related to your reaction to the situation. For instance, do you sulk or berate your partner when he/she chooses to spend time away from home? How does this contribute to your problem? What reaction do you get? Be sure to write down any of your own personal triggers from past circumstances or relationships which may be contributing to this problem.
OK: Time to Start Culling…
When you have created the three categories for your problem, pick up the list for Group #1. (Other People). Now, screw up this piece of paper and throw it in the bin. Why? Because…..
*** You cannot change OTHER PEOPLE ***
But how great would it be if we could? We’d live blissfully in a world full of people who were just like us….or would we?? Now, I’m not saying that people will not change of their own accord. It just means that if they do change, it will be because they choose to, not because you tell them that they should. Don’t waste your time and energy on those parts of the problem that you cannot control!
Okay, now do the same with the group 2 list; screw it up and throw it away! Because….
*** You cannot change the facts ***
So now, all that is left is the list you have made for group 3. Your problem has just gotten a whole lot smaller because you’ve thrown away 2 of the lists! Have a good look at this third list. Are there any things in the list you have made that you feel you truly cannot change? If so, remove these items from the list – you must only use your energy on the things you do have the ability to influence.
Now, looking at the remaining things on the list, are there any things that you do not want to change? This is really important! If you don’t want to change something about yourself, then you will not; it’s that simple! But keep this in mind; writing this list is all about taking personal responsibility for what is not working in your life. This technique will help you to focus on the parts of your problem that you CAN do something about. By now, you should have in your hot little hand a practical, do-able list that you can turn into an action plan. So the message is clear….
Find out what you can do about it and then take action!
Sonia Devine is a qualified professional hypnotherapist and
success coach with a caring and committed approach to
healing, who lives in Melbourne, Australia. You can find
more of her information on ego, self image, love,
relationships, phobias and much more on her website
http://www.manifest-your-success.com
Copyright 2005 Stephen Pierce
So, you have a problem that you need to solve quick. You have
agonized over this issue for hours, days, months, or even years
and you still can’t resolve it. Well, don’t worry my friend; the
answer is already within you. You simply need to call forth your
creative energy in order to bring the answer into your focused
mind.
How do you do this? It is easy. You simply utilize creative
problem solving, that’s how. Creative what? Creative problem
solving. You see, creative problem solving is the powerful act
of utilizing internal out-of-the box creativity to solve
everyday problems.
Creativity that is already inside of you and the good news is
that it can be done by anyone with any type of problem. It
matters not if you’re a toddler or a sassy sexy citizen, it
matters not if you are a housewife or a neurosurgeon, you can
solve problems creatively and you can do it without stressing
out. All you have to do is follow these basic creative problem
solving steps:
1. Visualize ultimate success. Don’t dwell on negative thinking
for doing so will block your creative energy. Instead, you
should always revel in the fact that the answer is already
within you. You simply have to pull it forward from your
creative mind. Visualizing failure will block your creative
energy and visualizing success will bring it forward.
2. Be still and know that the answer is within you. There is
absolutely no need to fear that the problem can’t be solved. The
answer will come to you if you stop worrying and take a more
relaxed approach. Be quiet and still and allow the creative
ideas to come forth. In addition, always be willing to just sit
still and let your thoughts wonder freely.
3. Be patient. Don’t rush the creative problem solving process.
It sometimes takes a while for your creativity to solve a
problem so don’t become frustrated if the problem isn’t resolved
right away. Instead, enjoy the creative process for what it
really is, an internal process and be open and receptive to
allowing those new solutions to come forward.
4. Create a positive environment. The creative mind flourishes
in a healthy and positive atmosphere so if you are having a hard
time creatively solving a problem then you may need to create a
more positive and uplifting environment. This can be done by
cleaning up, adding plants, burning aromatherapy candles, or
doing whatever you can to create a creative and positive
environment. For once you have a creative environment in place;
your creativity problem solving skills will burst forward.
5. Take time away. If possible, take some time away to really
allow your creative problem solving abilities to materialize.
Sometimes you need a change of scenery and other times you just
need time away. However, you must be willing to give your spirit
what it needs, a mini vacation to sort through your thoughts and
come up with the perfect solution.
6. Engage others in the creative process. If you get stuck and
can’t seem to get out of a rut, it may be a good idea to discuss
your problem with others. Sometimes they can provide creativity
problem solving techniques that will help you. They may also be
able to solve the problem for you. The important thing however
is to only enlist the help of like minded and positive people
like you. You don’t want to ask someone to assist that will
instill negative energy into your mind.
7. Meditate. Meditation is one of the best ways to engage your
creative problem solving skills. By elevating yourself to a
different level of consciousness you become more intoned with
your thought processes and can truly see the connection better
than when you are distracted. For this reason, meditation is a
great way to engage creative problem solving.
By following the above basic steps, you can and will creatively
solve any problem that may come your way. You’ll solve problems
with confidence and less stress than if you simply followed
traditional methods. So, enjoy the problem solving process by
using creative problem solving techniques now and for the rest
of your life!
Stephen Pierce business strategist who provides strategies that
make growing profits in your business a fast reality. Learn how
to get Marketing Momentum for real business success. To receive
your free online video coaching visit:
http://www.stephenlive.com or request your free Innovation Audit
at http://www.innovationmarketers.com
“Problems are opportunities in work clothes”. Henry J Kaiser, American industrialist
“I proceed with a courageous and honest analysis of the situation. Then I determine what the worst consequences of my failure could be. After imagining the most disastrous consequences that could result, I resign myself to accept them in case it becomes necessary. From that moment on, I concentrate all my time and energy to looking for ways that could alleviate the consequences which, mentally, I have already accepted”. Dale Carnegie, American orator
Problems: You either love ‘em or hate ‘em. For some they represent a challenge, something from which to learn. For others problems are the beginning of the end, a reason to ‘down tools’ for the day. This is what distinguishes winners from losers, business successes from failures.
Positive thinkers act in a similar way to Carnegie, namely recognising that a problem exists, understanding the possible consequences, anticipating the worst possible scenario, and formulating their objectives on this.
Recognising That a Problem Exists
All problems share one characteristic. All are deviations from the norm. For example, where your average/anticipated sales during a given period are £200, you have a potential problem where actual sales are significantly less.
All successful businesses set standards. The first step towards solving problems presupposes that you have determined measurable standards against which to measure progress and performance. From this, you periodically compare actual against projected performance. This is best achieved as a team exercise, including management and staff, as appropriate.
Analysing the Problem: Defining its Scope
Here you are locating and determining the extent of your problem, deciding whether it has short-term or long-term consequences. A well-defined problem is almost solved and frequently the solution is obvious. A useful tip is to draw up a ‘Problem Analysis Worksheet’, including vertical columns where aspects of the problem can be recorded: what the problem is, who was responsible for it, when it occurred, what its consequences might be, what the ideal situation would be (your objectives), how serious the problem is, and so on. Having considered all aspects of the problem, as a team, the group then lists possible solutions.
Focus on Objectives: Classify these as ‘Essential’ or ‘Desirable’
Your objectives are results you want to achieve, your ideal situation. These should be listed as ‘essential’ or ‘desirable’.
Compare Suggested Solutions against Objectives
Again, preferably as a team, all solutions are considered in terms of how successful they might be at achieving your objectives, primarily ‘essentials’.
Choose a Tentative Solution from Your List
One potential solution will usually reveal itself as most suitable for achieving your objectives. This is the one you should initiate in the first instance.
Put the Solution into Practice and Monitor the Consequences
Once initiated, the consequences must be monitored and adverse occurrences identified and controlled. Some changes might be necessary, especially for unexpected events. Alternatively, and only as a last resort, you may find you have to choose another from your list of possible solutions. Whatever happens, you will almost certainly have your problem under control, maybe not solved, but manageable.
Alternative Problem-Solving
An extremely useful tip from the late Joe Karbo, American motivational writer and entrepreneur, is to delegate the problem. To your computer! Not the Amstrad, Apple or Atari; this computer is far more complex, infinitely more powerful. The computer Karbo and others like him refer to is your unconscious computer – your mind!
According to many psychologists and motivational gurus, we use only a tiny proportion of our U/Cs. Programming the U/C to solve your problem is easy, all you have to do is ask. This is what you do:
Write the problem down at the top of a clean sheet of paper. Section the remainder of the page into two vertical columns.
Try to solve the problem yourself. On the left-hand side, write down all possible ways to solve your problem. Include reasons. On the other side, list the potential drawbacks of each considered solution.
Ask your U/C to choose the best solution from those listed or to come up with another. This might sound silly, but believe me it isn’t. Karbo tells readers to think of your U/C as ‘another person, an employee or assistant’. We must tell that other person ‘I want the answer to this problem by tomorrow morning … or four o’clock this afternoon’. Then you just forget it, go to sleep or turn to doing something else.
Surely enough, just as that name you’ve struggled to remember will suddenly come to you long after you’ve given up trying, your U/C will provide the answer you need. Try it, it works.
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