Aug 09 '10 What True Love Means in Reality

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True love really exists. It is very rare but some people are lucky enough to find it. If you are one of those lucky people who have found true love, make sure you hold on to it. Never ever make people you love feel like you are using them and that you do not love. This is because they might leave when you least expect it. However, there are some people who think that they are in love and that there love is true only for them to discover otherwise. True love means that a person loves you more than enough never to let you go. When you need him or her the most, they will be there to hold your hands and to assure you that things are going to be okay. True love will not bolt on the first sign of trouble.

True love means that the two people who say they love each other really love each other. They do not only say it to themselves and the people who are listening but they act on it. True love is never one sided where by one of the person in the relationship loves the other more than the other. It has to be at least equal and if it is not equal the difference should not be too great that is quite noticeable by people who were not even looking. True love is selfless, that is just what true love means.

True love means so many things. Among those things is that true love is all about sharing. People who love each other share things that affect them. They will not also say that something belongs to them and the other person should not touch it. True love will allow you to share each others things. Now here comes the complicated staff. True love though allows people to share things; true love is also respectful of people’s possessions. They will not misuse them in the name of loving each other but rather they will be careful while using their partner’s things. They will even ask for permission to use the staff before they even try to get any where near it. So do not hide behind true love and spoil your partner’s things and expect them to understand because they love you.

True love means that you trust each other enough to close your eyes and let your partner lead the way. That means you believe in him or her and you know that they cannot hurt you because they love you. It also believes and trusts that you are not having a relationship behind their backs and that even if you went out, it wouldn’t be to have an affair with someone else but it would be because you want to have fun with you friends. True love is everlasting and because of that it plans right ahead. If a person does not love you, you will not hear of any plans for the future. All their talks will be the present and never will you hear anything about the future.

May 31 '10 To Live is to Have Problems and to Solve Problems Means Growing Intellectually

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To live, is to have problems and to “solve problems” is to grow intellectually,” quoted J. P. Guilford.

In other words, we all run into or face problems sometime, or the other. Problems can be work related, or personal problems and it can be said that one man’s solution to a problem could turn to be another’s nightmare. This is because according to Guilford’s “Structure of Intellect” (SI) theory, an individual’s performance on intelligence tests can be traced back to the underlying mental abilities, or factors of intelligence.

Personal Problem

About five years ago, I became handicapped and this put me in a catch-22 situation. Here I was all set to go out for any little excuse but for some reason or the other, I just couldn’t get myself to doing it. It was absolute misery and it wasn’t a surprise when things spiraled quickly out of control. I managed to alienate myself from most of my friends and family and infact did a good job of it. It was then the computer and the net came to my rescue. It’s funny which how much you can do with this machine. There is enormous potential out there for mothers based at home who can work out wonders with this machine and the net and this applies to men working from home as well

Since then, it became a full time relationship with the computer and net and the question of doing another job did not even arise. Now, the subject question here is; whenever you ever run into such serious problems, what are the methods or processes that have been adopted in resolving it.

Sometimes, the problems resolve itself like in my case, and all it required was some time. In other words, it did not require any outside help, such as a shrink to resolve it. Ofcourse, I did visit a shrink but that’s another story and we’ll leave that for a rainy day

I say this because when you encounter problems and tend to ignore them, they just disappear. It gives you the feeling that when you tend to ignore them, they just solve itself. It’s magical, solutions emerge from nowhere. In fact, this method made me more relaxed and I refused to view problems as they are. Instead I only view them as solutions that have encountered a minor setback or delay.

Theoretically, majority of the problems resolve themselves in the long run. All that remains are the worry and tension that it caused. In a time based scenario, the only “problem” is that we don’t know when the so-called problem would be resolved and the time-period could cause quite a bit of misery.

So let’s assume as per the subject topic we have run into a generic problem that need solutions. A problem as such cannot be described, as it must be remembered that no problem can exist in the absence of an objective. That is to say, we need to know exactly where we want to arrive so that we can properly determine our track, as well as direction.

In his lateral thinking theory, DeBono stressed the importance of “looking at a problem with a fresh perspective”. In other words, knowing our direction is an important aspect in problem solving.

Now, the first thing when I encounter a problem is change or restructure my way of thinking. For this I need sleep. By sleep, I mean a sound sleep. The sleep gives me a relaxed mind, and makes problem-solving far easier, instead of purely relying on intuition. After a sound sleep, your approach to solve the problem becomes more systematic, more balanced and logical. Starting from that point it becomes easier to see what lies in front of you.

The SIX Processes

After the sleep, it is better to split the problem into smaller problems and begin solving it step by step. It is realistic when you do this and write the processes down, as you would very soon begin to see the possible solutions that underlie within each problem. That is to say, in order to resolve problems effectively one has to understand the whole process and their role in making the problems work. And as we live in a talking culture, it is imperative that we put these things in writing. This procedure helps you identify the best solution embedded within each problem

After writing it down, the next step in our hypothetical problem is to identify pain points, if any, and identify the connections between the connecting pain points. This would help me understand the problem better and then take on the objectives and translate them into structured programs. Then I could evaluate which solution has the most advantages, and further break down these solutions into different stages, while at the same time conduct a SWOT analysis between solutions.

Thirdly, I will reflect on the possible solutions while consulting friends and relatives, and then conduct a strategic analysis and begin to tailor solutions according to feedback and sentiments. This would eventually result in deeper penetration and a larger perception of the whole problem

Stage number four is to evaluate all possible solutions, i.e., reviewing the problem point by point, while analyzing the pros and cons of each solution. The next step or stage number five is when I implement the decision. Last of all, stage number six is post-decision justification or evaluation of the outcome. Ofcourse this also means the implementation of any follow-up actions required.

Now the question is what have all these so called stages to do with my personal situation. Although, I applied all these processes, none of these methods were adopted in my case as the solution to my problem turned out to be time and patience. It was just out of frustration I started toying with the computer, and which eventually materialized in to a hobby and subsequently into a job. It is only when you encounter or run into problems, only then, these so called strategies materialize. In other words, it is only when you start visualizing the problem mathematically, you begin to analyze what the problem really is, and start approaching it in an organized and logical manner. Then the whole problem becomes easier to solve.

Conclusion

It is only when you start visualizing the problem mathematically, you begin to analyze what the problem really is and start approaching it in an organized and logical manner. Then the whole problem becomes easier to solve.

Don’t ever make the mistake of making the problem bigger than it is, as any solution appears to be good, and the actual problem is only as big as you perceive it to be. You should always visualize that you are “bigger” than the problem itself. This gives it a positive outlook, which definitely counts in solving problems in the long run. Finally, never give up whatever the problem may be. Just stick in there. You will soon find a solution. Remember, it is just that problems help you to enhance your ability to live happily.

Once you solve a problem, the feeling and satisfaction of solving it is so great that explaining it has just no words. In Living a Life That Matters, Harold S. Kushner (the Massachusetts rabbi whose best selling books include When Bad Things Happen to Good People) suggests that the most successful lives are the ones that most effectively manage and “solve their problems”.