It is advisable to learn to Love the One you are with for your making up relationship
If you have recently come out of a relationship, heed this word of caution. It may be wise to distance yourself from relationships for a while. Take a breather. The tendency of new singles often is quickly to find someone else to be with. Most ministers and mental health professionals agree that that is not a good idea. It is a colossal mistake!
For some people being in a relationship becomes their “drug of choice.” They skip around from relationship to relationship. Some get stuck. They feel as though they always have to be in a relationship. They develop the dependency of “needing” a relationship. That is not healthy. Some people allow their feelings of insecurity about being alone to keep them stuck, often in an unhealthy relationship.
Our former relationships never cease to provide us with new and exciting questions, the answers to which can lead to the breakthrough necessary for a healthy love relationship in the future. The rewards of personal inquiry are invaluable and can assist us greatly in being ready for another relationship when the time is right.
I believe that every relationship we are in serves a definite purpose. It fulfils a need for us as we fulfil needs for someone else. Remember, we should only look back to see how far we’ve come or to see how much we’ve learned. We can look at our past love relationships and focus on the good we learned from them. I must admit that at times this may be difficult.
Spend time working on you. Work on developing your own self as an individual. The one you are with is you! Reinvent a relationship with yourself. Make it a new and exciting relationship; one you can be proud to carry over into your next relationship with someone else. Nobody wants damaged goods.
Allow time for the healing that is necessary for you to feel comfortable with being alone. That is the only way you can learn how to really be with someone else in the future. After coming out of a love relationship, it is normal to feel rather insecure for a while. It takes a while to adjust to your new beginning. The delayed gratification is worth it. One of the rewards is discovering that the more time you take for yourself, the more love you will have to give to your future love partner.
Choose to be alone for awhile. Being independent enough to be alone is a virtue. Cultivate it. When you can learn to be comfortable with being with yourself, then you may be getting closer to being ready for a healthy love relationship with someone else. During this time of aloneness you will discover a clear distinction between being lonely and being alone.
Being alone can help you in getting comfortable about being with yourself. When you are comfortable about being with yourself, your feelings of loneliness will gradually disappear. Spend some time learning to be good company with you. Avoid the self-created fear of being alone. Accept that we do this to ourselves. It can bring no good into our lives. We allow fear to cause us to withhold ourselves from others. Fear breeds insecurities.
It could be said, for example purposes, that even Tarzan, Lord of the Jungle, was insecure. He would swing from vine to vine, not letting go until the next vine was safely in hand. Does this sound familiar? This may make sense when you are in the jungle. When you are swinging high above the ground, your life depends on it. Your life does not depend, however, on always being in a relationship. The need to be always swinging from one love partner to another is not in your best interest. If you are coming from a love relationship, the last thing you need is another one . . . right away, that is. In this scenario, there is no safety in numbers.
We are so afraid of finding ourselves hanging in midair; we latch onto the first available vine that happens along. Not a good idea! Leap into your greatest fear . . . be by yourself for a while. Take a good look at what “hanging in midair” feels like. You may be surprised! You will be okay. It won’t be the end of the world. Although it may feel like it, that feeling won’t last forever.
It is wise to practice intimacy with “self” during your abstinence from relationships. Pray to know God better. Thank him for the courage to get serious about the relationship you have with you. Get to know God. Get to know you. Give yourself the gift of solitude. When you are alone . . . journal. Get in touch with your true feelings. Work on falling in love with yourself for a change and see how great that feels! Be your own significant other. Practice the art of loving you. Take the precious time out that is necessary to rediscover who you are without a love partner.
You must first learn to be alone and happy before you can be together and happy. Learn that it is possible for you to live alone and not be lonely. Discover how to be self-sufficient. Don’t be dependent on others for your own existence.
Know that when you eventually do connect with someone you can love; your happiness will be enhanced by just knowing that being in the relationship is your choice and not something you need or must have to survive. To have found someone you can share your life with is one of love’s ultimate adventures.
Not having a relationship doesn’t keep you all warm and cuddly at night; however, getting yourself ready for a really great love relationship must be your highest priority. Be true to yourself first, it is well worth the wait. Being alone may call up all the feelings you were afraid you would have if you were ever alone . . . and some you could have never imagined. The pain seems to go on and on, though only if you allow it. Healing takes time. Stay with solitude. Don’t be tempted.
At the end of your tunnel are love-of-self and the healing love that only God can provide. You must attain this awareness before you can be in a healthy love relationship with someone else. In times like these, when you are alone with your feelings, life can feel empty.
You can gain much insight into the power of your attitudes in the stillness of looking inward. Your body believes every word you say. Your words and thoughts govern how you feel today and how you will feel tomorrow. A quiet and peaceful mind takes form as a quiet and peaceful body. Peace, be still.
See what it feels like to walk hand in hand with you. Give yourself permission to do what may feel risky. Discover new ways of thinking and being. To allow intimacy to be present in a relationship with another, you must first seek intimacy with yourself. Some of our clearest thinking about relationships can occur when we are not in a relationship. Our mind is often sharper when informed by our own feelings. We are more humble and acutely more in touch with the hurts of the past. We are far more open to new ideas.
Take advantage of this opportunity to learn all you can about yourself and what makes a healthy love relationship. It is in the search for what it takes to have a healthy love relationship that we become more receptive to listening for new ways to make our relationships work better in the future. The very process of searching opens up many new options. Make having a relationship with yourself your number one priority. Then, and only then, can you move on to what’s next!
Indeed, life is short. Don’t let another day go by without taking a chance on happiness. You will never know until you try, so remember to make a move today. It can change or affect the rest of your life, therefore, at the very least, you can try to come out something for your ex love partner during your weekend plans. With a little practice, perseverance and patience, I believe that your
relationship
could be enhanced with the tips that I have shared earlier. If you have faced any problems with your loved ones, do not hesitate to visit this piece of article again.
I really have a strong belief that if you can understand what I have explained and applied what you have learnt from this piece of article, your problems can be eventually solved and your making up relationship can become more stable and stronger. I wish all the best for your making up relationship with your partner. Do always remember to spread word of mouth to your fellow friends for supporting the decision of having making up than breaking up.
Is getting my ex back possible?
Watch a video that shows you exactly what you must NEVER do, what you should do to get your ex back and why at Getting My Ex Back Video
You will also learn how to reverse the situation if you have already done those things that should NEVER be done.
Jim Lim Da Hong, sgtopmarketseller@gmail.com, Freelance SelfEmployed Graduate
There are twenty five words or less for connecting with your love ones for your personal making up relationship
Does this sound familiar? You only intended to get something cold to drink at the local Quick Trip® and on the way back to your car, you stopped by the rusty rack outside and scanned the selection of local magazines chock full of personal ads.
You couldn’t resist picking up the copy with a picture of a good looking couple proclaimed to be their most recent “personal ads” success story. Suddenly, you find yourself scanning the “personals,” strictly for entertainment purposes, of course. You flip over to whatever section you might fit into to see what kind of people might be there. Oh, what fun!
You notice that there are some words in those ads that always seem to pop up; attractive and fun loving. Pretty redundant, huh? The people all appear to be exercise freaks, love to have fun and love the outdoors; surely they over-exaggerate. Your chances of meeting that special someone from this motley crew are about as slim as winning the lottery.
What kind of a person would really advertise for a love partner? They would have to be someone who can’t get a date; social outcasts, right? They all have to be fifty pounds overweight, totally desperate for love and look like Elmer Fudd or Roseanne. Your thoughts turn to who would actually be brave enough to call the phone number listed at the end of the ad and just how much cash would someone be willing to part with to place these silly personal ads or make that 900 number call?
Our passion to find a playmate with which we can share laughs, have fun with or perhaps even spend the rest of our life with is so strong that we often go to almost any lengths to make the connection. Personal ads are big business. You will find them everywhere; magazines, newspapers, television, radio, billboards and the latest high tech ads are now appearing on the internet and the online services.
Those who are willing to learn the strategies of placing an ad, using the right words for maximum results, how to return calls, introducing you and where to place the ad, may be in for a great surprise. What if they worked? While some might scoff at the very thought of “advertising” for a love partner, the many successful relationships that have occurred as a result of personal ads tells me that it is a viable way to attract a playmate, with a few caveats.
By applying the appropriate safety precautions, i.e., never give anyone your home or work address and avoid home phone numbers until you know them better, meet in busy public places (preferably in the afternoon), and in the beginning avoid “romantic dinners”. . . meeting people by personal ads has come of age. When you discover someone you want to meet, ask them if they mind if you bring a friend. If this freaks them out, run the other way.
By the way, the same advice is relevant for people who decide to meet someone in person that they have only met in an online chat room. Remember, it is very easy to hide behind a screen name. Advertising yourself is a fun way to meet people. It’s about meeting people for the purpose of having someone special in your life, to have someone to talk with, to develop a healthy love relationship with, for mutual interests or just for the fun of meeting new friends.
My work with Dr. John Gray, Ph.D., author of “Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus,” as former host of his online chat room and my “Relationship Enrichment Love Shops” presented nationally, have highlighted two of the most common problems that occur in relationships.
First is undelivered communications.
When meeting singles through the personals, it is wise to play your cards close until you have had several face-to-face meetings and feel comfortable enough to begin fully sharing yourself. This occurs when there is a real connection; a mutual attraction and you both choose to pursue a relationship together.
Often we withhold what we know really needs to be said and by doing so, we temporarily shut down communications in the relationship. Trust is the foundation of all healthy love relationships. There can be no trust without conversation; no genuine intimacy without trust. One of the secrets to having healthy love relationships is to never be afraid to openly and honestly discuss whatever is relevant to the success of the relationship.
The second most common problem in relationships is unfulfilled expectations.
When looking for a serious love relationship in the personal ads, it is important to put aside your expectations about how you “think” things will work out and be okay with the way they do. Once you know you are moving in the direction of a relationship, it is wise to let go of all of your expectations. A problem occurs when we expect our partner to love us a certain way and when they don’t, we are disappointed or, we expect them to do something or behave in a certain way, they don’t (they missed our subtle hints), and again we experience disappointment. By the way, subtle hints don’t work. No one can read your mind. Unfulfilled expectations cause relationship problems.
Instead we must learn to focus on what we “need” from the relationship. Everyone needs love. Discover the freedom that comes from allowing our love partner to love us the way “they” love us not the way we “expect” them to love us! We can best accomplish this by first discovering what we individually need from the relationship, then mutually communicating those needs to our love partner. So, if you decide to try the personal ads, here are my suggestions in 25 words or less:
Express yourself with honest words. Exercise caution when answering ads. Drop your expectations. Be yourself. Meet in a public place. Focus on having fun.
When you are ready . . . love will find you. Indeed, life is short. Don’t let another day go by without taking a chance on happiness. You will never know until you try, so remember to make a move today. It can change or affect the rest of your life, therefore, at the very least, you can try to come out something for your ex love partner during your weekend plans.
With a little practice, perseverance and patience, I believe that your relationship could be enhanced with the tips that I have shared earlier. If you have faced any problems with your loved ones, do not hesitate to visit this piece of article again. I really have a strong belief that if you can understand what I have explained and applied what you have learnt from this piece of article, your problems can be eventually solved and your making up relationship can become more stable and stronger. I wish all the best for your making up relationship with your partner. Do always remember to spread word of mouth to your fellow friends for supporting the decision of having making up than breaking up.
How to win your ex girlfriend back easily?
Watch a video that shows you exactly what you must NEVER do, what you should do to get your ex back and why at Win Your Ex girlfriend Back Website.
You will also learn how to reverse the situation if you have already done those things that should NEVER be done.
Jim Lim Da Hong, sgtopmarketseller@gmail.com, Freelance SelfEmployed Graduate
Category:
Marriage
Tags: Connecting, Five, Less, Love, Making, Ones, Personal, relationship, There, Twenty, Words
You have to perform a simple love test before you can proceed in getting your ex boyfriend or girlfriend in a making up relationship
Love is the feeling of affection towards someone. In the love field, you simply do not choose who to love. You might choose who to live with for convenience but not who to grow fond of. A marriage for convenience needs a lot of patience and tolerance. To live happily the couple must device a way of dealing with things. In the love field, extremes are not encouraged. The opposite of love is hate. If you do not love your spouse, if he wrongs you he experiences a lot of hatred. This is a dangerous exercise since there is a possibility of harm. Love acts as a mediation factor in many disputes. Lack of it creates fights out of simple disagreements. Hard times in a relationship act as a great love test.
Why are people murdering their spouses all the time? It is mostly out of bitterness. There are people who venture into marriage not because they are in love but because they have some other interests. They hook up with some one because they are hoping to be associated with something great. A wealthy and powerful man is always a target for many women. What happens when after marriage the money is gone with the wind? When the power goes down the drain? The marriage is shattered. In such a case the calamities act as a good love test. The love field becomes full of revenge activities. The pretence comes to an end and the true colours are revealed. It is under such circumstances that suicide and murder usually occur.
People should know that money and power are things which were once attained and can also go down the toilet. Love conquers all the troubles. It acts like a bond that keeps many couples together. With money or no money, with power or no power a marriage that is genuine should stand firm. A love test will always be there and if you are keen to observe you will know whether your marriage relationship is purely based on love. In the love field of a malicious marriage, there are a lot of plotting games that go on. For example if you notice that your spouse withdraws fat amount of cash from an account and becomes rude when you ask for explanation, you should be cautious.
If you watch a love field of couples with an admirable marriage, they play the game with a lot of enthusiasm. There is no much effort in making things work out. Nature takes its course. They stand together and strong when they are undergoing a love test. Have you ever found yourself laughing when it is least expected? True love overshadows all the problems. When your partner is sick it is the perfect time to express all your love and concern to him/her. It should actually bring you together as a couple. Love is sweet when it is genuine so try your best not to force it. There is off course the unfairness of love where it is one sided. If the other party is unwilling, please relax and wait for your own true love.
Indeed, life is short. Don’t let another day go by without taking a chance on happiness. You will never know until you try, so remember to make a move today. It can change or affect the rest of your life, therefore, at the very least, you can try to come out something for your ex love partner during your weekend plans. With a little practice, perseverance and patience, I believe that your relationship could be enhanced with the tips that I have shared earlier. If you have faced any problems with your loved ones, do not hesitate to visit this piece of article again.
I really have a strong belief that if you can understand what I have explained and applied what you have learnt from this piece of article, your problems can be eventually solved and your making up relationship can become more stable and stronger. I wish all the best for your making up relationship with your partner. Do always remember to spread word of mouth to your fellow friends for supporting the decision of having making up than breaking up.
Watch a video that shows you exactly what you must NEVER do, what you should do to get your ex back and why at http://www.squidoo.com/how_can_i_retrieve_my_ex_lover_back
Alternatively, you can visit this website Win Your Ex Boyfriend Back Website.
You will also learn how to reverse the situation if you have already done those things that should NEVER be done.
Jim Lim Da Hong, sgtopmarketseller@gmail.com, Freelance SelfEmployed Graduate
Category:
Marriage
Tags: Before, Boyfriend, Getting, Girlfriend, Love, Making, Perform, Proceed, relationship, Simple, Test
You have to keep your love alive for your making up relationship with your ex love partner
When I was 24 years old I fell madly in love. I was madly in love for three weeks, and then spent the next 30 years struggling to regain and maintain that wonderful feeling. In the course of my long marriage and in the many years I’ve been counselling individuals and couples, I’ve learned what it takes to keep love alive and what diminishes the feelings and experience of love.
The concept of what it takes to keep love alive is really quite simple, but not so easy to do. The simple answer is this: love flows between two people whose hearts are open to learning and to sharing love. The hard part is keeping the heart open.
Before I go more deeply into what does keep love alive, I want to focus on what doesn’t work to keep love alive. The bottom line of what diminishes or even eventually kills loving feelings is controlling behaviour. There are two major forms of controlling behaviour that always result in dampening loving feelings:
Overt control such as anger, blame, criticism and judgment, defensiveness, lecturing, teaching, righteousness, physical violence, and so on.
Covert control such as withdrawal, withholding truth, compliance, giving oneself up, resistance, denial, and so on.
None of us like to be controlled. Most people, in the face of controlling behaviour, react with their own controlling behaviour. Controlling behaviour diminishes love because the focus is on changing the other person rather than on changing yourself. When the intention of your behaviour is to change your partner’s feelings or behaviour, your behaviour will often be experienced by your partner as manipulative and/or rejecting. Trying to change how someone feels about you or treats you with overt forms of control feels manipulative and rejecting to your partner, while covert forms of control such compliance or “niceness,” feels manipulative and inauthentic to the other person.
The good news is that love CAN be kept alive, even in long-term relationships. Love is kept alive when each person is more devoted to learning about being love to themselves and to each other than to getting love. The moment the intention is to get love, controlling behaviour takes over. In any given moment, we either want to be loving and share love, or to get love. Trying to get love diminishes love. Being loving and sharing love keeps love alive. Being loving and sharing love means:
Through the practice of Inner Bonding, each person learns to take responsibility for your own feelings rather than making the other person responsible for your feelings of worth, lovability, security, happiness, joy or pain.
Each person has your own and your partner’s highest good at heart. Each of you supports your own and your partner’s joy and well being. Both of you are considerate of the other person without giving yourselves up.
Each person chooses to be honest and authentic about how you feel and what you want and don’t want. You are willing to speak your truth without blame or judgment. Each person stays open to learning about your own and your partner’s wants, needs, and fears, especially in conflict.
What keeps love alive is each person’s willingness to do the Inner Bonding work necessary to keep the heart open to loving and learning. Controlling behaviour is motivated by fear – of loss of self and loss of other, of engulfment and rejection, of smothering and abandonment. When each person is willing to do the Inner Bonding work necessary to heal these fears, they are able to keep their hearts open more and more of the time. Love flows freely when hearts are open to loving and learning.
Practicing the Six Steps of Inner Bonding is a powerful way of keeping love alive. Partners who both consistently practice this process discover the great joy of keeping their love alive. Even when it seems that there is no way to get love back, it does come back when both partners are devoted to learning to take loving care of themselves and to sharing their love with each other. Getting help and support from the membership community is incredible valuable in keeping you on track in your Inner Bonding practice.
We cannot give to another what we do not have within. Inner Bonding is a process for creating so much love within that it comes spilling out, to be joyously shared with others! Indeed, life is short. Don’t let another day go by without taking a chance on happiness. You will never know until you try, so remember to make a move today. It can change or affect the rest of your life, therefore, at the very least, you can try to come out something for your ex love partner during your weekend plans.
With a little practice, perseverance and patience, I believe that your relationship could be enhanced with the tips that I have shared earlier. If you have faced any problems with your loved ones, do not hesitate to visit this piece of article again. I really have a strong belief that if you can understand what I have explained and applied what you have learnt from this piece of article, your problems can be eventually solved and your making up relationship can become more stable and stronger. I wish all the best for your making up relationship with your partner. Do always remember to spread word of mouth to your fellow friends for supporting the decision of having making up than breaking up.
Any tips on getting my girlfriend back? Maybe your situation is not covered in this article?
Watch a video that shows you exactly what you must NEVER do, what you should do to get your ex back and why at http://hubpages.com/hub/howshouldiwoomyexback
You will also learn how to reverse the situation if you have already done those things that should NEVER be done.
Jim Lim Da Hong, sgtopmarketseller@gmail.com, Freelance SelfEmployed Graduate
Feel the power of love that can discover The Love That Lies within Us All for a wonderful making up relationship with your Ex Love partner
To feel love for someone and their love in return is the most wonderful experience of our lives. When we feel love, we experience joy and fulfilment, but when it is absent we rapidly become unhappy and disillusioned. The search for love defines our lives and plays a critical role in the quality of our wonderful making up relationships. Love really does make our world go round!
Unfortunately we are rarely given any teaching about love, and yet with a little understanding and awareness it can transform our lives. Love can solve problems and heal emotional pain, but only when we allow ourselves to experience its power – we must invite love into our lives.
Consider for a moment the times when you have fallen in love or felt the love of a parent, child or friend. It is almost impossible to describe those comforting feelings of connection and well-being. Notice how anxieties and problems fall away to be replaced by solutions, ease and confidence. There is a timeless quality about love that buoys you up and protects you in even the most despairing of times. You are experiencing the power of love to heal and bring joy and success into your life.
Love is the fundamental truth of life. We are born to love and be loved. It is our natural state. Some people prefer to see this love as a characteristic of our humanity while others prefer to see it as the manifestation of a divine or spiritual source of love. Whatever our personal belief, the power of love is experienced when we connect open-heartedly with others and embrace our natural connections.
Our emotional and relationship problems result from our denial of love – our separation from the love that bonds all people and separation from our higher or spiritual source of love. This denial usually starts when we are very young and has a damaging impact on our lives. Perversely, we invent all manner of negative thoughts, feelings and behaviours to distract us from the love that we already possess. In romantic wonderful making up relationships we then search for love from another person, or try to gain fulfilment from material possessions, to replace the love that we believe is lacking within. This is a terrible mistake because until we have rediscovered self-love, we cannot give or receive love fully from somebody else.
Luckily the best place to work on finding self-love is within a supportive relationship. All wonderful making up relationships have their challenges and it is by working with our partner through the difficult times that a partnership is strengthened. Wonderful making up relationships fail because of our inability to get to the core emotional issues that create the separation. These will be our fears and insecurities and lack of self-belief. In our attempt to hide away any sense of low self-worth we make ourselves unavailable to our partner. It is like building a fortress around ourselves “we think it protects us but in reality it damages or even destroys our wonderful making up relationships.
The way to embrace our loving essence and our natural connections with others is to be willing to feel all our emotions and communicate about them maturely to our partners. We can also ask them about there feelings and commit to working with them to heal any fear… Normally we will find that they have just the same fears and insecurities as us, but may play them out in different styles. Getting to these core issues is the key to healing the pain and fear in a relationship and to becoming more bonded.
As we achieve such healing within our wonderful making up relationships we will automatically discover more success in our lives, we will feel more fulfilled and this will make us happier. We can all do this if we can find the courage to feel our emotions and reveal them within our wonderful making up relationships. As our hearts open we will feel all the love that has been hidden behind our defences and our wonderful making up relationships will go from strength to strength.
Indeed, life is short. Don’t let another day go by without taking a chance on happiness. You will never know until you try, so remember to make a move today. It can change or affect the rest of your life, therefore, at the very least, you can try to come out something for your ex love partner during your weekend plans. With a little practice, perseverance and patience, I believe that your relationship could be enhanced with the tips that I have shared earlier. If you have faced any problems with your loved ones, do not hesitate to visit this piece of article again.
I really have a strong belief that if you can understand what I have explained and applied what you have learnt from this piece of article, your problems can be eventually solved and your making up relationship can become more stable and stronger. I wish all the best for your making up relationship with your partner. Do always remember to spread word of mouth to your fellow friends for supporting the decision of having making up than breaking up.
Can I get my ex back? Maybe your situation is not covered in this article?
Watch a video that shows you exactly what you must NEVER do, what you should do to get your ex back and why at http://hubpages.com/hub/howshouldiwoomyexback
You will also learn how to reverse the situation if you have already done those things that should NEVER be done.
Jim Lim Da Hong, sgtopmarketseller@gmail.com, Freelance SelfEmployed Graduate
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