Believe me when I tell you that distance is not the end of the world in a relationship. Distance cannot hurt a bond between two people in love, if it is based on mutual respect, trust and commitment.

If you believe that love and relationships are what make your life special, and if it is built on love and understanding, then they are truly worth preserving, regardless of the miles that may separate the two of you.

I’m not going to tell you it will be easy, and you will need some help to make this work. The old saying “absence makes the heart grow stronger” may sound good in a song or movie, but when reality sets in, and you’re apart for six months or so, it may be more than your relationship can take, if you don’t have some kind of understanding what you’re up against.

You need to learn how to cope with saying goodbye again and again. Some of the emotional stages of a long distance relationship. And you may not think it could ever happen to you, but you need to be able to combat out-of-sight / out-of-mind temptations.

To improve your long distance relationships statistics, you need to also know the key to preventing phone arguments. Believe it or not, living apart can actually strengthen a relationship, as long as there is hope that one day you will be together again.

You also need to understand why long distance love is different for a woman, than it is for a man. And lastly, you need to recognize the warning signs that your relationship may be ending, before it’s too late. Luckily for you and your long distance love, you can get all the information you need to help you through this, and not have to worry about long distance relationships statistics anymore.

You have the opportunity to instantly download the relationship advice books to help you start improving the quality of your relationship today. Keep the fires of love burning, no matter where you are, when you read Loving Your Long Distance Relationship.

• Walk dog

• Water plants

• Break up with significant other

Okay, while ending a long term relationship is hardly at the top of anybody’s calendar, the fact is that when a relationship has gone sour, someone has to make the move to end it.

The truth is that many relationships last long beyond the “expire by” date just because breaking up is hard to do. Sometimes a break up happens in dramatic fashion with clothes being thrown out of a second story window.

Other times, the relationship just peters out until someone says “its caput.” How do you go about ending a long term relationship so that neither party gets hurt? You need to get clear on why you want to terminate the romance. The immediate reason that jumps into your mind may not be the real reason. Once you get clear, the next step on how to end a long term relationship is to get honest.

That means that in your discussion with your partner that you are true to yourself and to them. Schedule a mutually convenient time for the breakup. In general, it is better to do it in person rather than over the phone, but if distance is an issue in the relationship, you should do it sooner than wait for a time you can get together.

Get into a state of compassion when ending the long term relationship. If you want to stay friends after the break up, you need to conclude the romantic ties with love and compassion.

Do not put your partner on the defensive. Talk about the things you have learned and the memories you will cherish that have come from your love. Be present during the break up.

Your partner may become very emotional during this time. You need to respond to their needs. Do not take anything personally when ending a long term relationship. Your partner may say things they do not really mean. Let these words roll off of your back. Your partner may need to meet with you more than once to conclude the relationship. Or, they may need space. Give your ex what they need to get through the transition time.

But do not let them make you feel guilty. You are ready to begin a new phase in your life and it will not include a romantic relationship with your ex. It is best if you retain a positive relationship of some sort with them, but if you are ending the relationship for the right reasons, it is best for both of you.

Should you ever consider reconnecting? Does ending a long term relationship always mean “the end, close the book?”

That is something you have to decide. Virtually all relationships can be saved if certain conditions are met. If you have the time and are willing to make the effort, you can get through this period as an even stronger couple.

However, if you are determined to walk away, it is best to end a long term relationship with a clean break and move on.

See how much you can learn about Friendships when you take a little time to read a well-researched article? Don’t miss out on the rest of this great information.

Friends are a form of relationship built on different types of love. When man and woman joins in love and relationship, intimacy labors throughout the arrangement, however in friendship a different type of intimacy exists that makes the relationship work. Friendship, as intimate relationships work with the exception that sex is not in the arrangement in some instances. Some friends join in friendship and later commit to sexual relations, thus leading to commitment or else separation.

Friendships that are long lasting usually have the ingredients to make the relationship work. Friends may cause each other agitation, frustration, or unintentional harm down the road in the relationship, yet the two will work together to make it work by finding a resolve.

Friendship is a form of commitment between two or more people, and often friends join in activities, entertainment, and communication. True friends will prove true to the end of the relationship. Friends will not interfere with each other’s life, unless the friend sees the need to address an issue that is causing the friend harm, or in the making of causing him/her harm.

True friends in love and relationships will not hold back any punches when addressing issues with friends. While the friend will not hold back any punches, he/she will use consideration of the person’s feelings and emotions when addressing issues. Friends have your back, which is a symbol of love displayed on their part, and friends that endure throughout the trials and tribulations of the relationship, show love since long-suffering and self-control are visual.

Friends in love and relationship may fight at times, but both parties will apologize for his/her part that instigated the disagreement. Friends will tell you when you are wrong, thus again not holding back any punches, while considering you.

Friends that develop into intimate relationships, often work through the arrangement regardless of the storms laid on their plates. Friendship before intimacy is smart, since the two have an overview of the others behaviors, habits, personality, skills, et cetera.

Love and relationships built on true friendship will last through habits, behaviors, personality flaws, et cetera, providing violence or repeated actions of inconsideration and disrespect is ongoing.

When mates disrespect each other, or show inconsideration ongoing, thus, the relationship will fail, since friendship, love and elements that compose love are lacking.

Disrespect expands further than most people think. Thus, learning beliefs, traditions, and standards is smart when considering love and relationships. Thus, starting out as friends will help you see through the person’s behaviors, habits and personality, what makes him or her up as a person. The makeup of the person will include an insight of standards, traditions, and beliefs.

Beliefs are tricky, since nowadays standards are lower than ever, thus beliefs are often overlying inconsistency and dishonesty. When a person has lack of evidence to support their beliefs, thus faulty thinking is underlying the mind.

Beliefs are either concrete or superficial. To convince me that a person is worth my time, the person better have some realness in light. Thus, superficial beliefs rarely stand firm, thus the person is obviously heading in the wrong direction, and thus the relationship may or may not last.

As you can see, what determines the outlook of friendship, love and relationships depends on the makeup of the persons involved?

What about compatibility, where does it play in friendship, love and relationships…

Compatibility by definition means to exist together in agreement. When two people join in agreement the relationship may or may not last, since down the road can you determine if one person’s mind will change? People live life and gain experience and wisdom along the path, thus a shallow minded person might stumble upon information that changes his/her mind forever.

Thus, incompatibility according to definition means to cause a disturbance by inconvenience and distress. While the definition illustrates a failure down the road, many relationships built on incompatibility proved enduring, since down the road minds changed when facts were gathered leading to convictions.

Thus, conviction is devastating. When you have truth, you have conviction, thus no one can argue with you…therefore, relationships can last in friendship and in love and relationships.

Take time to consider the points presented above. What you learn may help you overcome your hesitation to take action.

No one can deny the benefit of preventive medicine. First of all, it’s often easier to prevent an illness than it is to cure it–that’s why you go in for your annual physical (or why you should). And we all can agree that feeling healthy is preferable to feeling sick. So looking out for potential illnesses before they take over your life is the reasoning behind the medical check-up.

But when was your last relationship check-up?

Everyone needs a Relationship Check-up…

Unfortunately, couples and couples counselors have not adopted the philosophy of the regular physical for relationships. Most often, the approach is to wait for problems to arise, persist, and then to seek help. To compound the problem, most marriage counseling is focused exclusively on the presenting complaint–this problem-centered focus often obscures any resilient aspects of a relationship that already exist, ones that might be used in a healthy way. This sends the message that couples should only seek counseling or give their relationship close attention when a crisis arises. Couples counseling is seen as a last resort, an act of desperation.

Shouldn’t there be an alternative to this approach?

The typical journey to marriage counseling:

Meet Joanna and Bernie—the “every” couple.

Like many modern-day couples who try to juggle numerous commitments and responsibilities, Joanna and Bernie have their share of stress. And this stress has taken a toll on them. Over time, their relationship has suffered.

Depending on circumstances, relationship problems surfaced but then seemed to disappear…only to resurface at some later point. As time passed, this pattern intensified and became more frequent, often with no resolution. The vitality and life that was once a part of their relationship started to give way to hurt feelings, then withdrawal and finally indifference. As their marriage became more painful, Joanna and Bernie started to channel their energies elsewhere: Work-related activities, parenting and/or time spent with family and friends supplanted the time that was once spent enjoying each other.

As unresolved issues continued to fester, the familiar relationship that once offered comfort and meaning was nowhere to be found. Beleaguered and hopeless, it became painfully obvious to Joanna and Bernie that marriage counseling was needed if they wanted to head off a divorce.

Couples often endure an agonizing existence for years before seeking help—and like a slowly developing medical problem, the more time that elapses before seeking treatment, the poorer the prognosis.

But what if Joanna and Bernie had been going for an annual relationship check-up?

Isn’t it possible that their marriage problems could have been identified early on and Joanna and Bernie been given the tools needed to tackle these issues?

Unfortunately, few options exist for couples who want to evaluate the overall health of their relationship before problems crop up.

When is a problem a “real” problem?

There is a level of decisiveness when someone is dealing with a physical aliment: if you develop a pounding headache that won’t go away, you call your doctor; when you injure your back to the point where you can hardly move, you see a specialist immediately.

This level of decisiveness is lacking when it comes to relationship aliments.

Some couples quarrel often and still have strong relationships; however, conflict can signal the start of significant trouble for others. Some couples make love infrequently but still feel fulfilled and connected with each other, while for other couples, a lack of physical intimacy is a sign that help is needed. In other words, a problem for one couple isn’t necessarily a problem for another.

Would you call a counselor for a relationship check-up if you faced any of the following?

~Lately your marriage seems less fulfilling;

~You start wondering if this is all that love has to offer;

~Over the last few months, you and your husband have been arguing more frequently;

~You’ve noticed that your wife has been withdrawing from you and avoiding intimacy;

~When you have the choice, you prefer spending time with friends rather than with your partner;

~You find that you have no desire to make love to your husband.

If you answered “no” to the above question (whether or not you’d call a professional if you faced any of the aforementioned issues), you’re not alone. And quite frankly, your marriage or relationship might be fine in spite of any one of the above concerns. But then again, one of these observations might also signal that your relationship needs some attention. This is why ongoing attention is so vital for the health of your relationship.

What a Relationship Check-up Can Do for You:

A relationship check-up should focus on all aspects of your relationship—highlighting what is working well, each person’s unique strengths, how these strengths can best be utilized in the relationship, as well as any areas that might need attention so problems can be prevented. Couples can leave a relationship check-up invigorated and with a plan of action that will help them keep their marriage or relationship moving in the right direction.

This preventive medicine approach is a healthy alternative to “just putting up with” relationship problems before seeking help.

Are you ready to implement the preventive medicine model for your relationship? Dr. Nicastro offers a FREE relationship check-up by phone!

Visit www.StrengthenYourRelationship.com to schedule your free relationship check-up. And don’t forget to sign up for Dr. Nicastro’s Relationship Toolbox Newsletter.

I received the following question:

“My relationship was going well and then it plummeted. It was a long distance relationship but it was going so well and strong for 7 months and then crashed. I would give anything to get her back and I really need some advice.”

This is just one example of countless questions I receive asking advice for basically the same problem. So how do you fix a relationship that has gone bad?

Go for the 6-point checklist

1. Go visit
If you really would do anything, I suggest you start by going to see your partner and try and work things out. Long distance relationships are hard, but don’t let anybody ever tell you they can’t work out. My girlfriend/wife and I were in a long distance relationship for more than three years, and we’re in one again. It sucks big time, but it’s definitely still worth it.

If there really are problems in your relationship, it’s best to discuss it in person. Phone calls, Skype, webcams, etc. are all great resources that you can use to communicate, but real problems need real people to sort them out. Not people on computer screens or voices on the other side of telephones. This is not to say you can’t work it out over the distance, so don’t just give up yet. It’s just easier in person.

2. Do some digging
Find out exactly what led to the (possible) breakup. Dig deep. If it’s something one of you said, dig deeper still and find out what led to that being said. I would assume that you are not an inherently bad person, so if you said something bad, there must have been a reason for you to say it.

Don’t stop digging once you’ve reached what looks like an answer. Maybe there’s an even deeper level, something that happened a long time ago. And quite possibly, that something was a complete misunderstanding. It’s happened to us a lot, and I don’t think we’re unique in that way.

3. Be brutally honest
You have to be brutally honest, both with yourself, and with your partner. Your digging will lead to some things you wouldn’t want to know, both about yourself and your partner. You should be prepared for it. This is not the time for mud slinging. This is the time to be a couple. Couples stand together through everything and help each other. You need to admit to the things you find.

4. Admit your mistakes
Admit those mistakes that you’ve uncovered. Admitting mistakes isn’t saying: “I was brought up this way, I can’t change…” Admitting your mistakes means finding out what you’ve been doing wrong so far and actively doing something about it. This is where your partnership will be instrumental. You have work together with each other to come out better as a team on the other side. But don’t stop at your partner. You should also use the help of friends and family. They may be even more brutally honest with you than your partner.

5. What are your plans?
Does your partner know that you have long term plans for your relationship? You do have long term plans don’t you? Like maybe getting married eventually? If you’re serious about making this relationship work, I would assume it’s because you feel that there is a possibility of a long term relationship. Maybe if your partner knows that’s the way you really feel you will get renewed energy and a renewed sense of direction in your relationship.

Seriously, I’ll never tell you when to break a relationship. Only you can ever tell yourself that. But if you don’t see a long term goal for your relationship, a long distance relationship is not your best option. Long distance relationships are harder work than normal relationships, so you have to have something to work for. In our case, as with many others, it was and is definitely worth it, no matter the distance, and no matter how long we are apart.

6. Make some sacrifices
You will have to make some sacrifices in your relationship, but weigh it up against the rewards, and eventually it’s no sacrifice at all. As an example, I spent a lot of money during the course of our long distance relationship in order to visit Mari often enough. But I never saw our relationship in terms of a monetary value. What I got in return is something that no amount of money can ever buy.

Maybe your sacrifice is something else. Maybe you just need to spend less time doing something else you want to do, and spend more time on the phone with your partner. Or maybe you should take the plunge and look for a job closer to your partner. Even if it may mean that you will have to work for a lower salary.

Never just give up on your relationship without a fight (for the relationship that is, not a fight in the relationship). Every relationship goes through a bit of a rough patch from time to time. Long distance relationships are no different.

Best of luck

Leon

Communicate and visit often

It cannot be stressed enough how important communication is for every relationship, especially if it is an LDR. With the distance working to keep you and your sweetie apart, your defense is keeping all lines of communication open. It doesn’t matter how you do it as long as you do it. Every long distance couple should find ways to communicate that make both partners comfortable and happy. You can talk on the phone everyday, send e-mails, faxes or text messages and whatever you do make sure you share your feelings and expectations and be true to one another. Try to make the time to visit each other as often as possible or as often as your budget permits you to. A relationship cannot thrive if the only thing you have is the phone calls. You need to see each other up close and personal every chance you get. The key here is to set up some “rules” about frequency of communication and visits and stick to them, consistency can help a LDR survive. (Check our Communicate Better and Travel section)

Avoid jealousy and be trusting

One of the easiest ways to destroy a perfectly healthy relationship is to poison it with jealousy and drama. When you start a long distance relationship you must be realistic of the difficulties ahead. It always helps if you go in a relationship with the idea that everyone is innocent and worth of trust until proven otherwise. Don’t fall in the trap to interrogate your partner every time he/she decides to go out for a drink with people you haven’t met or he/she didn’t get back to you right away when you called and left a message. Just because you are in a LDR, you lives won’t pause. Your partner will naturally have a social life where he/she lives and so should you. Sure it helps to have your eyes open and not be totally naive but being overly suspicious is unhealthy for you and your relationship too. You should both maintain your social activity and be happy with yourselves.

Be positive

Staying positive and not focusing on the negative aspects of a LDR is essential to keeping your relationship blooming and your partner content. Being away from your sweetie is not all bad news. Use the opportunity of personal time to pursue your interests and hobbies as well as your career objectives. Another positive points it that long distance dating pushes both of you to be more creative, communicate better since you don’t have “face-to-face” time and test your feelings. As long as you see the long distance relationship as a temporary state, you will keep your chin up and transmit that feeling of security and happiness to your partner too.

Long distance dating is all about a balanced relationship between partners; a relationship built on strong foundations of trust, understanding and determination to make it work. The two partners should be reasonable about their expectations and willing to cooperate so that this relationship can lead to a happy ending. If these parameters are taken care of, you have nothing to worry about.