Jul 21 '10 Build Happy, Lasting Relationships

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Dating and marriage is different than it was twenty years ago. In today’s society, more than 50% of all marriages fail for one reason or another. Just thinking about that makes
“Commitment” seems scary. It seems that when relationships are faced with challenges,
People quit trying. Dating is more like a marathon, trying to date as many people as
Possible, instead of taking time to get to know someone at a deeper level .For married
Couples, divorce are not biased. Whether married for thirty years or eight months, the
Outcome can be the same.
The fact is that relationships, whether dating or married, are hard. Things do not always
Go perfectly, fighting does occur, and it takes a 100% commitment from both parties to
Make it a success. Often when people break off a relationship, they feel as though something is missing. The “spark” has gone, leaving one or both people feeling
Inadequate and unfulfilled .For more information logon to www.pdf-stampers.com .However, even though the odds are not very good, healthy, and long-lasting relationships are definitely possible and proven by many people. Look at Paul Newman and Joanne Woodard, Danny Devito and Rhea Perlman, or Nancy and Ronald Regan. What secrets do they possess? The answer is that they all work hard at their relationship. They made a decision of choosing to love their mate rather than relying on the “warm and fuzzy” feelings, which everyone knows will fade. By making love a choice you are making a decision that even in the bad times, you stick it out. Think of it like choosing a car. You pick out the make, model, year, color, and features that you believe are best for you. After driving your car for a couple of months, you realize that perhaps you should have purchased a larger car, or that maybe the leather seats would have been better, or on hot sunny days, the sunroof would have been nice.

However, it is now too late so you choose to keep your car and make it work. It is the
Same for marriage. Not everything will be perfect and there will be major obstacles to
Overcome but you have made your decision and now you choose to make it work. There are hundreds of things you can do to better your relationship. To help get you headed in the right direction, we have chosen 101 ways to build, strengthen, and enhance your relationship. For more information logon to www.make-your-ebook-sell.com .When couples first get together, everything is new and exciting. They overlook the little annoying things the other person does. However, after time, the nagging starts, instead of hearing, “You look beautiful,” they might hear “Why are you
Wearing that shirt?” If this sounds like your relationship, first, the two of you need
To sit down and be honest that things have changed. Identify the things each other did in the beginning of the relationship that created the attraction in the first place. Then together, make a commitment to start over. The truth is, both of you will have to work on this. It will not automatically be easy but it is possible. Start by forgiving each other, forgetting the past, and then start over with the flirtation. Focus only on the special things your mate does and relearn to put the unimportant things aside. It will take some time so be patient.

Dating and marriage is different than it was twenty years ago. In today’s society, more than 50% of all marriages fail for one reason or another. Just thinking about that makes
“Commitment” seems scary. It seems that when relationships are faced with challenges,
People quit trying. Dating is more like a marathon, trying to date as many people as
Possible, instead of taking time to get to know someone at a deeper level .For married
Couples, divorce are not biased. Whether married for thirty years or eight months, the
Outcome can be the same.

The fact is that relationships, whether dating or married, are hard. Things do not always
Go perfectly, fighting does occur, and it takes a 100% commitment from both parties to
Make it a success. Often when people break off a relationship, they feel as though something is missing. The “spark” has gone, leaving one or both people feeling
Inadequate and unfulfilled .For more information logon to www.pdf-stampers.com .However, even though the odds are not very good, healthy, and long-lasting relationships are definitely possible and proven by many people. Look at Paul Newman and Joanne Woodard, Danny Devito and Rhea Perlman, or Nancy and Ronald Regan. What secrets do they possess? The answer is that they all work hard at their relationship. They made a decision of choosing to love their mate rather than relying on the “warm and fuzzy” feelings, which everyone knows will fade. By making love a choice you are making a decision that even in the bad times, you stick it out. Think of it like choosing a car. You pick out the make, model, year, color, and features that you believe are best for you. After driving your car for a couple of months, you realize that perhaps you should have purchased a larger car, or that maybe the leather seats would have been better, or on hot sunny days, the sunroof would have been nice.

However, it is now too late so you choose to keep your car and make it work. It is the
Same for marriage. Not everything will be perfect and there will be major obstacles to
Overcome but you have made your decision and now you choose to make it work. There are hundreds of things you can do to better your relationship. To help get you headed in the right direction, we have chosen 101 ways to build, strengthen, and enhance your relationship. For more information logon to www.make-your-ebook-sell.com .When couples first get together, everything is new and exciting. They overlook the little annoying things the other person does. However, after time, the nagging starts, instead of hearing, “You look beautiful,” they might hear “Why are you
Wearing that shirt?” If this sounds like your relationship, first, the two of you need
To sit down and be honest that things have changed. Identify the things each other did in the beginning of the relationship that created the attraction in the first place. Then together, make a commitment to start over. The truth is, both of you will have to work on this. It will not automatically be easy but it is possible. Start by forgiving each other, forgetting the past, and then start over with the flirtation. Focus only on the special things your mate does and relearn to put the unimportant things aside. It will take some time so be patient.

Jul 16 '10 How to Be Happy in Relationships

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We desire to be in a happy relationship. However, we know little about how to be happy in our relationships. Seldom do we find a person claiming to know the tricks of how to be happy with his relationship perpetually. Our demands from our relationships are never ending. Our wants are not steady and we seek new goal everyday. Thus, our fluctuating desires prevent us from being completely happy. It is a vicious cycle, which leads to more confusion and sometimes depression.

We choose to be happy or not to be happy. Therefore, we should maintain transparency in our relationships and appreciate every moment that we have with our friends, family and fellow beings. The most crucial criteria of how to be happy is to work towards keeping the relationship healthy. But, this target cannot be achieved alone. Everybody involved in the relationship has to co-operate with each other to make their relationship successful.

Be it in any relationship, the most common complaint today about unhappiness is the lack of effective communication. Whether it is a formal relationship between a boss and subordinates or the co-workers or an informal relationship between friends, family and loved ones. The thoughts and demands of person often do not get across clearly. We have lost the knowledge of how to be happy. There lies a huge gap between the actual idea and the message sent across. A lot gets overlooked due to the lack of patient hearing. It not only helps us in understanding each other better but also makes the communicator feel important.

Happiness can be the simplest thing to achieve. Unfortunately, we have forgotten how to be happy. Man has made tremendous progress in the last two hundred years, and our lives have suddenly morphed into a fast paced race to outwit and win over one another. We are constantly competing with each other even in the simplest of relationships that we share like friendship or love. If we have to learn how to be happy, we have to learn to love unconditionally. Trust, respect, appreciation and patience are vital aspects of a relationship. Once both the people in a relationship are happy, they would discover how to be happy in a relationship.

Happiness in relationships does come from the knowledge of how to be happy. We often tend to be neglectful about our personal relationships due to the demands of our profession. We must remember that to be happy with our lives we should be dedicated equally towards our career as well as our personal lives. Happy relationships can only be achieved when we actively search how to be happy together and strive towards it. Read about it more in interesting and useful ebooks at Online Dating Ebooks.

Jun 13 '10 Accept The Errors In Your Relationship And Become Truly Happy – Advice From The Love Coach

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It´s time to face the fact: NO relationship will ever be perfect anyway so stop trying. You can´t buy the ultimate man in the mall and personalize him to fit your unique demands. Relationships are mysterious and impossible to totally control or mould to perfection. With two people involved plus a trillion circumstances, the outcome will in many ways be out of your control.

The best way to “work” on a relationship is NOT to write a list of things your partner should change, but to improve your own attitude about faults.

When you are in a relationship and annoyed about stuff that might be larger than life for you. But step away for a bit and see what kind of flaws a person can have. He could:

- Waste too much money

- Beat you up

- Slurp the soup

- Wear awful shoes

- Be a bad kisser

- Get tantrums

- Always sleep in

- Always be up too early

- Have a clingy ex

- Have an annoying mum

- Have kids from the past

- Drink too much

- Be sick

- Work long hours
- Be unemployed

- Be stupid

- Be too smart, making you feel stupid

- Be rude to people

- Smell bad

- Always have his mates around

- Never cleans up

- Does not want kids

- Is too tall

- Is too young

- Is bad in bed

- Does not want sex anymore

- Want you to wear odd outfits…

The list is endless and during my years as a love coach I have for sure got emails and messages about all of these problems. It hits me that the girls who send me their questions put the problem in the centre of their relationship and examin it with magnifying glasses and put the light on it. Which only makes it worse!!

Look at the list and:

1. Be aware of how many flaws your hubby does NOT have

2. Decide that his flaws are not THAT bad, it could be worse

3. Look at all the good things you actually get out of the relationship and calculate + and -

4. Look at your own flaws… Are YOU perfect?

5. Accept that life with another person never will be perfect in your way. If you want everything YOUR way, stay single.

More info and relationship advice: http://www.love-relationship-advice-coaching.blogspot.com/

Jun 08 '10 How To Be Happy Again After Cheating And Infidelity – Advice From The Love Coach

1 COMMENT  

A few years ago I happened to pass by my boyfriend’s phone when it was ringing and I saw a girl’s name appear on the screen. At 11pm. I then realised how often he took his phone with him into the bathroom or how he got text messages without spontaneously telling me who they were from. It was a painful period, and of course it turned out he had another girl in his life… Now they live together and I’m happy in my love life, but it still hurts when I’m thinking of it. The fighting, worrying, wondering. The lies.

Me and the guy broke up and moved on, but sometimes infidelity is just an interruption in an otherwise happy relationship. It’s most times hard or impossible to justify or understand, but if the life you have together is larger than a drunken incident or a moment of inhibitions, you might give love a chance.

Some advice, if you want to save your marriage or relationship, are:

-      Cheating is external: See the cheating as a big black demon coming into your relationship. It doesn’t matter who was responsible for the act; both of you are hurt and damaged; one is feeling betrayed and the other ashamed. But the problem is best treated if it’s seen as something outside of the relationship that both of you have to fight off, move on from and leave it behind.

-      No blame game: If you don’t see the cheating as a shared problem, the post cheating phase can easily turn into a blame game where you play “victim and criminal”. If you keep on dwelling the past, you will be trapped in the negative emotions and memories. If you spend your time and energy finding ways to be happy from now on, it will be easier to move on.

-      How to move on? This means it is important that you don’t try to find answers or explanations for what happened if there are no rational reasons. Human beings are not always acting smart and we don’t always act according to our values. Sometimes we get carried away and loose control. Only look at the answer to the question “why did it happen?” if you also answer “How can we prevent it from happening again? Accept that the dark demon came in to your life and that you want a brighter future. The good guys win.

-      A new promise: Trust is the key to move on. You need to promise each other that you want to be together full on. You want to love and be loved. You want to be a team – strong and happy together. Tell your partner what you like about your relationship and listen to them. Trust doesn’t come from “I will never do this again”, but from “I want to love YOU and create a good life together”. Cheating and infidelity is very selfish. It can’t be justified. The cheater hurts other people, and if you have children you betray them too. But if you and your spouse seriously want to fix things between you, you seriously have to let go of the past. Create a new contract between you. Sit down, hug and kiss, and make promises and plans around these areas:

-      What will make you feel loved?

-      How can I make you happy?

-      What can I do in my life or my own personal development to make our relationship happier?

-      Can we spend more time together, give more compliments, have more sex, go out more with friends etc…?

As a love coach I prefer to give you some more questions, rather than giving advice. The best advice comes from within you. When you are aware of your feelings and understand the situation, you will know what to do.

-      Can I choose to trust my loved one?

-      What do I need (words, promises, attitude, new routines) to be able to trust my partner?

-      Can I get that?

-      If I can’t get it, can I still trust?

-      What does my partner need from me to feel happy in the relationship?

Bitterness and grief is a choice. Happiness and moving on is another. It’s up to you. Yes, it is that easy.

More on: http://infidelitycheatingadvice.blogspot.com