Jul 18 '10 Can You Tell If You Are In A Toxic Relationship?

How can you tell if you are in a toxic relationship?  Here are some clues:

Your significant other literally puts you down (verbally) in front of others. While he / she say that they love you, their actions do not back it up. Your significant other is controlling, invading your mail or suddenly shows up at places you are, to simply check up on you. He / she try to make you needy on them. You have changed things about yourself to delight them.

Toxic people make you feel ill just being around them.  So, why would anyone end up in a toxic relationship? Why would anyone want to be with someone who makes them feel emotionally or physically harmed?

This kind of relationship has a series.  There is a honeymoon phase, followed with a blow up, next by a compromise, at which moment the cycle commence anew.

You are evidently in the honeymoon stage when you first meet a new partner.  It is not until they have sucked you in further that you become conscious that you are in a toxic relationship.  At that instant, it is already complicated to get out.

One reason is that many people in toxic relationships grow up in toxic homes.  As a result, they replicate the patterns of their childhood without even knowing they’re doing it.  And, they may not know any better.  Others believe they do not deserve happiness.  Still others find that they enjoy taking care of people.

But the first step in getting out and staying out of toxic relationships is to realize that you do have choices.  Often people who stay in these couples have low self esteem or suffer from depression.

Once you have become conscious that you have choices, the following step is to begin standing up for yourself.  In a large amount of toxic relationships, the toxic individual has trained you that when you have fights, it is most likely your fault.  Once you bought this concept, it can be incredibly difficult to whichever walk away from the relationship or situate new limits that can cure the relationship.

For certain people, working in therapy groups can be capable of helping them either get out of or redefine these dreadful relationships.

The good news is that some people are able to break the cycles of toxic relationships.  Some of them leave the relationship and form new, healthier bonds.

But there are also others who were capable to fix their relationship and stay in it.

The certainty is that there are large amounts of relationships that are able to be saved.  Every so often it takes a tiny space.  Further times, it takes advising.  But if the couple makes an attempt, it is possible to restore the union in a healthy way.

Firstly, you have to make a decision if the relationship should be improved or you are willing to walk away from it. If you can not walk away, you will never be able to repair whatever divides you.

Once you have released yourself from the reliance which is the fundamental of a toxic relationship, you can start off to emphasize what you need from the relationship.  Do not badger the other individual.  Merely say “I need your encouragement “, “I need your affection “, or “I need your ingenuous opinion”.

If you, unfortunately, would not get what you need, the other person should know that you are prepared to walk.

A strong relationship is a two way lane.  In a toxic relationship, the lane is only going either one way. You have the strength to modify that, but you have got to take the dominance into your own hands.